More random late night thoughts.(mostly venting)

Hey Ya'll. Guess who's up at 430 in the effing morning eating cheese and crackers and blogging cuz she can't sleep. like ever? If you guessed me then you are....wrong. The answer I was going for was Robyn. Robyn... Nah I'm just messing with you. it's me (also I've been watching How I met your mother. Awesome show. if you haven't seen it go get Season one disk 2 and watch game night. That's game night. Then go get season 4 I believe also disk two and watch the naked man.- just trust me on this one- If you aren't hooked then there is something seriously wrong with you.) So I figured I'd maybe try and sort out some of these thoughts that are racing thru my head. And staring at a computer screen usually makes me really tired.

First. Denver lost by one point... ONE POINT to Oakland. This was not a good way to start of my Sunday. The Oakland/Denver game used to be one of the biggest ticket games in the NFL. This is a rivalry that is as old as the NFL. It was the toughest game of the season. Twice as big as the U of U/ BYU football game and more brutal than walking thru a dog pound with bacon pants. Lately it's not been that huge since both teams... have not been playing their best. Between Jay Cutler and Jamarcus Russell It's been a low scoring circus of a game. Earlier this year (before the broncos fell apart what up with that?) Denver was able to kill the Raiders on their home turf. Hold them to only a field goal. This time it seems that the Raiders were back with a vengeance. They held us to only Field goals. I wasn't able to watch the game on TV because green bay was playing and we had to watch that and then I just deleted the game off my dvr but How the hell did that happen? I mean really they manage to get 2 or 3 touchdowns and we can't do one? WTF guys? I don't mind losing by a lot to a team that is consistently better than me. I can respect that. But to lose to a team that normally can't pull their heads out on our turf by one fricken point? unacceptable.(Although one really fat raiders receiver lost his pants during a tackle. Funniest thing I've seen in a while.)
That Green Bay Game we had to watch? They also Played my Most hated team ever. EVER The Pittsburgh Steelers. And Green bay also managed to lose by one fricken point. It was not a good day at this household.
And since we are on the subject of Pro football I'll vent on a little longer about that. Up until this point this season there have been two undefeated teams- The colts and the saints- Now I can respect a good team and a good player don't get me wrong. Got nothing against Peyton (Eli is another story) but everything has gone just too perfectly for the Colts. There have been games where the first half they are down by 20+ points with not so much as a holding call on either team and then all of a sudden second half the opposing team gets 37 penalties on them and the colts are able to squeak by and chalk another win. I'm not saying that the colts did anything wrong- aka paid off the refs like a certain Pittsburgh team has admitted to doing. or anything- but I am accusing the NFL big wigs of something. Here's an idea. How bout instead of what team will bring the most money statistically and will cause the fans to go nuts over and lets take the black rookie coach give him a team whose fan base used to be huge but has been slipping a little and a veteran QB who has something to prove cuz his dad played for the same team years ago and whose younger brother has been getting all the glory for the past few years and put them together with a lot of advantages and calls that are questionable to say the least and they'll do what the Patriots couldn't do a few years ago and go undefeated all the way thru the Superbowl to make us so damn much money and instead how bout we go back to that basics? I think that if football (or basketball or any pro sport really) was played the way it was back in the 40's and 50's when honesty and integrity reined supreme that we would have some different standings. also I believe you could get many more people to watch more regularly and players would play for 15 years easy. Instead now you have people that can't even watch the game because the teams take 5 minute breaks between plays to figure out how to physically incapacitate the other team and the refs spend 20 minutes or more on a call that has been challenged haggling the price of their integrity. I hope that in heaven they have sports and on Saturday morning you can go catch a game with all the great players and know that it was a fun friendly game. and then go back to your daily life and have no hard feelings. (I'm personally hoping that I get to play with Floyd Little and Craig Morton and John Elway and and The 2009 roster. As mad as I am right now They are still my heroes to date. I see some potential in the next few years if we're giving a chance.)
Anyway I think the point of that whole paragraph was that the saints lost to my second most hated team the Dallas Cowboys Thursday leaving the Colts the only undefeated team just as it was planned.

Sorry one more, Both my college teams have made it to bowls tho. #8 Ohio State will be first facing #7 Oregon in the first game of the new year that I care about the rose bowl on Jan 1st 2010 at 430 on ABC . watch it. I'm thinking Oregon's explosive offense will be our downfall but I'm just happy we made it. Watch it. Just do it. and then following that on Jan 4Th at 8 pm on fox Boise State will be taking on TCU in the Fiesta bowl. Again prolly going to lose. Still Psyched we made it. Yay.

OK on to real more important things than sports. (although I effectively managed to procrastinate away a full hour)So I've been having some second thoughts about life choices I've recently made. I know these are supposed to come before but I've never really been one for what you're supposed to do. Darcy a month or so ago informed me that she had decided to go on a mission. It pretty much rocked my world. I mean we've been talking about it since we were little kids-no really- and there are few people that would make a better missionary than Darcy but it totally made me stop and go whoa. I mean before when Angi left (she comes back in may. I hope to get another letter to her before that) a mission was still an option for me. In fact it was my plan. I was OK with my life because I was working a respectable job during the day and hanging out with my friends at night. (mostly at the TPP) but then my whole world changed. First we all got laid off. Then I had 3 months of unemployment then I found the worst job in the world and the only way to take it was on nights. which I thought I would like better. I mean get to sleep in during the day and be making money (with night diff I might add) when I was already up? Sounds great right? I was wrong. Then I got on with the IRS again what I've wanted since High School and able to move out of a dead end area into one that would give me lots of experience in the systems that I would need to move up in the company. then i got engaged, then my unit turned into the unit from hell, then married. then extra hellish unit. then I got a grade raise and went from seasonal to perm but I'm still on nights. and now we are here. I mean I know everything happens for a reason and I have to think that if I'm moving up in the IRS so quickly that this is where I'm supposed to be but a part of me almost wishes I had asked Andy to wait and gone on a mission. I wonder where I would've gone and how I would've done and what I could've learned and who I could've helped and all that. As it is I feel like I'm in a rut. I'm constantly pissed off. Andy and I have some of the stupidest fights on a regular basis. Everything that I used to find cute and fun about him pretty much just annoys me at this point. I haven't seen any of my old friends in a very long time. I pretty much have no chance of seeing them for a while cuz of my stupid work schedule. I don't go to school. I don't have a kid, I don't do anything. I stay up doing nothing until 7 am then sleep on the couch til 1230 get up shower go get lunch go to work come home watch TV til 3 toss and turn in bed til 4 get up and start all over again. I haven't been to church since July making me a terrible example to my family. I mean I went thru the whole thing to be married somewhere where they couldn't be and went thru all that turmoil to become inactive the week after? Hell we could've gotten married wherever and went thru a year later. When I was more ready. at least then maybe we'd still be going to church. What incentive will my sister have to want to ever make it to the temple? or my mom or even my dad? none. And if I don't step up I know that someday I will have to answer for that. I know that they are all their own people and have their agency but I want to know that I did everything I could to show them the true happiness that could be found. and I'm not. That peace and happiness that I once had feels like it was a hundred years ago. Lately all I feel is contentious and angry. At everyone. I'm pissed at Andy for being so damn complacent and not having any motivation to even follow thru on anything that we once talked about. I feel like I have to punish him and yell and threaten to get anything done. And I'm taking second place to the damn video games again. which causes my blood to boil. I'm mad at my friends for moving on and living their lives and mostly I'm just mad at myself. I haven't changed. I'm still the fucked up little weirdo form High school. I'm unhappy with myself and the direction that my life has taken but I'm too damn lazy to do a thing about it. I had all these plans of college and friends and not living paycheck to paycheck and not being fat and out of shape and doing something with my life and instead here I sit. I don't know why I thought I was ready for any of this. But I'm also too damn stubborn to admit I was wrong. So instead I'll go on being miserable and lashing out at people I love and not actually saying what's wrong til it boils over in an overreacted manner and then try and clean up the pieces possibly ruining things in the process.

anyway now that I have publicly verbally beaten myself up I still feel like shit but I'm finally kinda tired. I'm going to watch spongebob and fall asleep on an uncomfortable couch for 3 or 4 hours only to wake up to this mess again. Hopefully things will get better with the holidays and such but I fear that even Christmas(my most beloved of all holidays) can't help me feel too much better. I'm hoping that I get to hang out with Charla and Lana the day after Christmas. I usually feel better after talking to them. Charla may get a random text today cuz I can talk to her about absolutely nothing and feel better. I love that about her. And I'll work my butt off at work in hopes of getting off review quickly and beginning the process of rejection for new internal jobs now that I am much more picky and will only accept perm day 5's (or above) and try and figure everything out one thing at a time.

No one said it would be easy. They only said it would be worth it.

The (abridged) life of a swing shift zombie

So I've been nelecting my blog for quite some time. Since very few people read it (that I know about) I don't feel too bad except that I like keeping it up as a sort of journal. I will justy give a breif overveiw of what has been going on:

1. I got a new job at work. I move from a clerk to a Tax Examiner. (yay) I love it I have my own cubicle (or condo as they are affectionatly called in my building) It's awesome. there a few problems Like the two people trying to rip our unit apart but over all I love it. My manager isn't a complete power hungry moron. She's actually quite good. And I moved from a gs 4 to a gs 5. For those of you not familliar with government pay scales that basically amounts to 120 buck more a paycheck after taxes. And I went from seasonal to perm. Meaning I won't have to worry about furlough. I'm still on swings but I'm learning a lot of specialized things that may help me move to days eventually.
2. The broncos are 8-5. They are the first place wild card in the afc right now. (WOOO!) We have only the cheifs the raiders and the eagles to go before the end of the season. and if we win all those games then we should stay asa the first place wild card to go and at least make it to the playoffs (something that hasn't been done since '98 with Elway I believe) I'm super excited. Oakland and Kc although they are division games (which are notoriously hard)0souldn't present much of a problem. Those teams have been struggling for the last few years and they are both home games. and philly is up and down. So we'll see what happens. Cross your fingers for me.
3. I got my laptop. It took almost 3 weeks and a lot of call ing a screaming and they didn't even get the whole order right (thankd tigerdirect.com for the shittiest service I've ever recieved) but it's here and awesome. I wish I woulda bought one earlier.

On anouther note: My winter insomnia combined with swing shift is making life Hell on earth. I hate not being able to sleep til 6 or 7 am and then having to get up at 1230pm for work. woo. So there may be many updates to this blog bassed on the afore mentioned insomnia and the new laptop that needs some loving. that is all.

Dear blog

I've been terrible about updating you. I'll leave a short "appetizer" update then hopefully in a few weeks get around to catching up.

love Myndi

Things I've learned from planning a wedding:

1) Don't put things off
2) DON'T put things off!!!!
3) No matter what you say people ARE going to make you pick/ask for your input on every freaking little thing except the few things you actually care about
4) never try and avoid any part of it.
5) just accept that you won't be wearing jerseys like you wanted in March instead of July and get a wedding dress so you don't have to freak about if it's done yet
6) it'll cost the same if not more to get your dress altered. Be prepared
7) once you freak out about 3 times and yell at everyone-even tho you feel kinda bad- people start leaving you alone about stupid little things like 'Is this color of blue OK?' just cuz they don't wanna be yelled at again. but you gotta actually melt down. not just cry.
8)Everybody you meet will have suggestions and hints and advice. unless you really like the idea do what you want. The people telling you stuff have either A) already had their wedding or 2) will have one someday. This one is yours. Accept their input nicely and non committally and then forget it.
9) Understand that you will be super sick of everyone remotely related to you by the end. but no worries you can tell them to leave you alone after the fact for at least a month and make it stick. ;)
10) also know that it's for the families. They will take over and take your idea of what you wanted (i.e. a small BBQ reception in jeans and football attire) and turn it into something completely different (i.e. a formal wedding complete with dress, tux, 700 invites sent out, flowers dresses and all that foofy crap) it does no good to dwell. keep a few things that you won't budge on (i.e. I am wearing chucks and at 8:01 pm I will no longer be at the reception, and there won't be anything even resembling a line) and deal with the rest. it's only a few hours then you never have to do this again
11) if you are planning on having a wedding on one day and a reception on another you need to set ground rules and be kinda men about it . Rules such as if you call either of us before 1:30 pm on Saturday or even attempt to present either of us with any kind of problem I will be forced to hurt you in ways that would make jigsaw look tame.
and last but not least
12) it'll be over soon. just remember. it's like 10 hours of you life. one day of work. Just breathe and count down the days. (we're at 3). Then you'll never have to do this again. in and out


Also on another note Saturday (Aug 8) I was endowed in the Bountiful temple. It was supa awesome and I'll forever be grateful to the people who were there and especially Tara who took time out of her supa popular supa busy schedule to be there and help me out. with like everything. Thanks ya'll!

Now I've avoided life for long enough. I'll post more when I can breathe again

update number 2.. or 3.. i'm not sure

Updates!

• Our house loan fell thru. Credit scores we're good enough to get everything on the loan. So we had to get about $4200 for a housing loan plus about $1700 for closing costs or wait. It's ok tho cuz...
• We got an apt. A really nice apt. for a really good deal. It's a two bedroom 962 sq ft with a fireplace and balcony(on the top floor. moving is going to be a bitch. lol so if any of you strong people wanna come help out on June first it'd be a good workout...)cable, central air washer and dryer hookups included and pet friendly. and they had a great deal going on. our Apt is normally (approx) $769 a month without the added insurance and water/garbage/sewage fee. our rent every month is $716 after everything! yay for good luck. Andy moves in on June first and I'll be there Aug 14th. ;)
• We got our invite pics done. and we should have the invites soon. Thank you so very much Audry!

Well that's about it. yay!

I'm getting kinda bad at this game.

So I'm getting kinda bad at this Blogging game. and I'd like to say it's cuz I've been busy at work and planning a wedding and all that but... lol no truth is I'm actually just kinda lazy. *gasp* I know. I'll wait while you catch your breath ........................................................................................................................................................
ok all better? lol I'll go on now. so we really haven't done a whole lot as far as..anything. lol I'll give a quick run down of everything I've done in the last month worth mentioning:

• We managed to call the Draper temple and and reserve a room at 2 pm on Aug 14th.
• We decided that like a formal reception is kinda a big hassle and between our families we'd prolly end up hurting someones feelings so I think we're doing a BBQ instead.
• and We've talked about needing to get pics done.

yeah so not a whole lot in the wedding dept. we gotta get a move on. I think next Tuesday after pay day we're going to go start our home application and get that going. and hopefully sometime in the next few weeks after my sunburn and cold sore go away we can do pics and start making invites. (btw anyone who hasn't given me their address and wants an invite you should prolly do it. you can post it or email me at nefariousgrl3@gmail.com or you can call or text me or facebook. lol ) Woo! we are so lazy...

As far as the life section the only things worth mentioning are as follows:

• I read the biography of Miley Cyrus
• Went to see the Hannah Montana Movie with my mom and Andy-yes he sat thru it for me. with my mom in an awkward twist of events. I know he's a keeper ;). Greatest. Movie. Involving. Hannah. Montana. To. Date. lol I really liked it as cheesy and stupid as it was
• And I've but putting in 9 and 10 hour days at work To try and fill up whats called credit at work. hat that means is that i can work up to 24 hours at some point in time and then I can use that like leave basically. so that in Aug when I go to take 4 or 5 days off, if I have a full credit of 24 hours-they won't let you do more.- and Some comp-which is basically the same as credit but you can have up to 80 hours and if you don't use it in like 18 months or 2 years or something it turns into overtime. credit just chills basically forever-I won't have to touch my annual leave so i can save it for Vegas in Nov. Woo!
• And I decided Fridays are going to be very boring at work. I hang out with 3 people for the most part: Shantel, Sara, and Daniel. Well Shantel only works Mon, Tues, and Wed. Sara only works Mon., Tues., and Thur. and Daniel. the only one who works Fridays just got furloughed for about a month. I may need to take back up smoking just to have friends for the next month

Yeah. so not a whole lot. hopefully someday I'll have more to post.