New Year.

So it's a new year. Not only that but it's a new decade. Yay! I guess. We started things off right on New years Day with the Rose Bowl which Ohio State won. Yay! And then on the 2nd I got to hang out with Charla and John and Lana And Craig. Which was just awesome! and then on the 4th Bosie State Beat TCU and stayed undefeated. WOO! Then on the 5th My buddy From work Sammie and I Joined Anytime Fitness in Clinton and we've been going to work out for at least an hour every night after work (for the last 3 nights) I'm not sure how much good it's doing really but I'm makeing a new friend, I've started feeling semi normal because I get to go out and do something every day, I've been sleeping better for the most part and without the help of sleep aids, I have more energy and feel better (despite being sore-er) and I had dropped 1.8 pounds in two freaking days. Awesome! Then I had BK for lunch and put all that on plus more. But whatevs. It's a good lesson in food. What I eat really does make a difference. But I've also decided that I'm not going to make weight based goals because if they don't pan out I'll get discouraged. Instead I've decided to make other goals that may or may not prompt weight loss and by posting it here then I will I have to live up to them. (unlike Some Tara's who promse to post more and then leave us hanging... are you trying to build the suspense? It's built! lol jk) so here they are my 2010 goals:

1: Run a mile in 7 minutes without being winded
2: Be able to do 10 chin ups.
3: Be able to do 10 push ups
4: Be able to run 5 miles continually without stopping no matter the time.
5: Be able to Face myself in the mirror and not be ashamed. To know that I have done everything I can to better myself physically and have something to show for it. And to know that I can set goals for myself and reach them.

We'll see how this turns out. but I'm locked into a contract with said gym(the only gym in Northern Utah open 24/7) for 12 months. So whether I use it or not I'll be paying $32 a month to them until next Feb. So I'd better use it. (that's $384 in a year) Also I'm hoping to have a kid this time next year. (we'll see how onboard someone else is about this... but we've got about 4 maybe 5 years ot be done having kids. Long Story) But I have high blood pressure and crappy everything habits amoung other things all of which I am working towards for this coming year.

Also on my list of goals is one finacial goal. Get all of the following debt paid off. on our list we have
-One line of credit each at $500 a piece totallying $1000
-A line of Credit at Rc Willeys totalling $1500
-My Credit Card at $1000
-My car at $285. (I should own it by March)
-And our rings that are left with approx $500
If I can get a good chunk of that paid by May along with keeping up on the
current bills then we may think about being able to get a house. But I'm not holding my breath . With me at a GS 5 and Andy refusing to move out of his GS 4 there is no way we could afford a house anyway I crunch it. We'll see what happens.

My next goals are some that will make me sound like a total bitch and could be classified as "Kicking against the pricks" but I'm pretty adament about most of them. Ok some back story. Before We got married when we were just engaged Andy and I talked about what we wanted our future home to be like. We agreed we didn't want to have "packrat piles" like both sets of our parents do. We agreed not to have "dumping grounds" like both our familes do. and we agreed that we would put all dirty dishes in the dishwasher immediatly and not let them pile up. We talked about not leaving clean clothes in the laundry basket and actually putting them away (Which I have been guilty of a few times I will admit)also amoung other things. To date I can count on one hand the number of times that I haven't had to put the dishes away out of the dishwasher because the sink was too full to use. I have never ever once seen him load the dishwasher the way I asked (with all the spoons in one basket section and all the forks in another and all the sharp ones in another and so on) because "that's dumb it takes too long and {He's} not going to do it". We cannot even think about going into our second bedroom except in a straight line to "his" computer (which I will get to later) because we have to keep every box or wire or anything ever. I threw/gave/donanted/stored away 2/3rds of my possesions when we got married cuz I knew we didn't have room and wanted to make a fresh start. He brought everything he's ever owned apperantly and nothing can be parted with. The kitchen counter looks like a 6 year old empted his pockets 3 weeks out of the month til it gets to me and I clean it. No matter what I ask him to do he always ALWAYS has an excuse for why he can't. Either "I've done it this way for 26 years" or "that'll take too long" or my personal favrite "that bothers me" I'm sick of fighting about it so I've started just being bitchy. all the time. I'm sick of it. It's like everything I do to try and make things better he goes out of his way to destroy. So I've decided that talking about it doesn't help cuz he's all talk and no action so now I am going to give it one more go with the "talking" and then if that doesn't do it I'm going to start having restrictions. I really hope it doesn't come to it but I may end up with a whole lot of mens clothes that won't get hung up and games that are more important than the few simple things I ask him to do to give away. so keep a watch out. Most of the time I feel like I am married to a jackass or a 15 year old. All the cute things and going out of the way he did when we were dating has been replaced by grouciness at the slightest request (your garms have holes in them I'm going to get more for myself would you get dressed and come with me) turn into the hugest fights. (I hate leaving the house. I'm very comfortable when I don't have to I do not want to leave. I'm just going to sit at my effing computer and play the same stupid game forever and eat and fart and burp without getting dressed. not even when we have company over so I look like a slob and not help you and yell over stupid shit and things will be done my way or I will make up stupid excuses for why they can't be done anyother way but the way that I want... ok I may have made up a little of the last part) I'm not sure i can handle a full year living with him like this let alone an eternity. More and more do I wish that I had said "you know I'm going on a mission." I love him dearly but I feel like I am the only one trying in this. I'm done dealing with this. I may be bitchy cunning and evil most of 2010 hopefully we'll come out stronger and I won't be so pissed all the time. Wish me luck on this impossible task.(any and all advice on this situation -however brutal- is welcome and apprecialted)

The last goal I have for this year is to tone down the swearing. I can have a serious mouth on me. (Noooo you may reply. I know it's shocking but true) I doubt I'll ever be able to clear it out completely-especially when I'm upset- but I would like to remove a good chunk of it. but it's a minor goal to the major ones I've mentioned above. aight well it's 5 am. almost. time for soem sleep