Here I am back for more ventingish.
My good friend Steph just got engaged. so Congrats to her. I hope things for her and Allen work out. I miss that time. as hectic and stressful as it was it seems like things for me and Andy have gone downhill since then. But I'm super happy for her. They are planning june 23rd so hopefully Darcy will still be here and all that we'll see. Congrats Steph and Allen.
Tonight Jim and Amanda invited us over for dinner. That was super nice to get out and see Clay and Lexi and them and just visit. Thanks you guys.
Now for the venting part of the post. I'm not sure where to start but here goes
I'm pretty fed up with the state of things here. I thought we had a real breakthrough last week but it feels like that was crap. He claimed he was going to do something about it and yet nothing. I'm pretty fed up with this technology crap tho. Everything has to be about technology. Last night I went to sleep in the bed cuz I was actually tired instead of fine and then asleep like normal. He went to bed half hour earlier. I get there and he was playing solitare on his ipod. He played that for prolly another hour before I fell asleep and god knows how long after. I get up today realize I have slept thru church yet again, went out started watching tv and then was asleep again. I dunno how that happened. When I woke up andy was in on his stupid computer as always. he stayed on it til prolly 6 or 615 when we started getting ready to go to his brothers house for dinner as mentioned above. on the way there he bitched about the road being closed and 12th street being remodled. Then we didn't say anything til we got there. There he didn't say much and then proceeded to get in an argument with his brother over freaking pineapple. Really? After Dinner Amanda and I stayed in the kitchen for a while talking and Jim and Andy went out into the living room to talk. then Amanda and I went into the living room. Durring this discussion andy pulled out his phone to 'look at the time' and then proceeded to mess with it totally reverting his attention to that instead of the discussion with his brother and sister in law. really? REALLY?! That sealed it. I don't care what kinda fight there is he will not be having internet on his phone when he jumps to my plan. I will shut data off completely. This is ridiculous. Then nothing was said on the way back and then we get home I go to the bathroom and by the time I was out he was in the bedroom and hasn't come out since. You know this "depression" crap is a bull. I don't really care what anyone says. He claimes it runs in his family. Guess what? runs on both sides of mine too. and yet I've learned to deal with it. I don't spend my whole life scared and angry at everyone and everything. I don't take pills and I am hesitant to even let that be an option. those pills are a joke. Dr's just perscribe them to assuge people. the real problem is in the mind. people who take them are quitters and can't freaking deal with life. So since it's been weeks since he said he would do something about it and surprise surprise nothing has been done then I am now doing something about it. But it won't be pills and it sure as hell won't be spending life on that fucking computer. "It's how I relax" well I suggest you find a new way. this technology crap is done. He won't go to school or better himself with it and only hide behind it. the ultimatum is now. Unless tomorrow I lear something that blows me away it will be me or that computer and those fucking games. It is getting really hard for me to keep caring about someone that doesn't give a shit about himself or anything else. I'm sorry his parents didn't do this a long time ago but I sure am. And he can either choose to change or he will choose to get the fuck outta my house. But I cannot take this depressed-lazy-hide from taking reponsiblity-bullshit anymore. It's wearing on me and it's wearing on my health. I guess I better go get the number for LDSfamily services. they are getting a call tomorrow from me. My buddy Daniel recomended a great mariage councler but we are going a step farther. we are going to get a single councelor for his "depression" til that councelor and God tell me that there is no other way except pills that WILL NOT be an option. Mark my words.
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4 comments:
have to say this cuz I was a little hurt.... depression is real... pills can help.... maybe make it less about that and more about him....
Yeah, I hope I'll be here too, but I doubt I will... but hey! Maybe you can get a cardboad cutout and glue my face on it as a stand-in! Just make it someone good... Maybe Marylin Monroe? Haha :)
Katelyn. I'm sorry if I hurt your feel goods. I was quite upset. I do know that depression is real. i suffer from it too from time to time but not dwelling on it and not trying to fix it only makes it worse. I am a firm believer in that you control your emotions. and where this is my vent space I say what I think.
Darcy. I was thinking of just making one of those huge wall stickers of you and putting it up while you are gone in your various moods. one disapointed 'you-should-know-better' and one of you laughing or something while you are gone. what do ya think?
Myndi I am totally with ya on the technology and gaming frustrations. Luckily my husband is NOT into it and is annoyed by it just as much as me. I see so many people struggling with this and it makes me sick. Kids spend all their time on the computer or video games and it's not healthy. And parents are letting them, even buying them! Then when they grow up like Andy, they are addicted and have major family problems. Argh. I love ya and am praying for you every day!
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