It's been a while

So I realized it's been like a month since I last updated. but working on nights seems to make your whole life blend together. so here is an update.

1) We got approved for a house loan. It's called the FHA loan and basically it allows you to put all of your closing costs and down payments and things like that into the loan. It's a super sweet deal. We're running around like mad men trying to get into a contract before the end of the month so we can maybe qualify for that tax credit next year. It's actually really stressfull and if we don't make the April 30th deadline I think I may reconsider. the more I think about buying a house the more stressed I get. Stupid growing up. worrying about bills and budgets and all that crap. But I am kinda leaving this one up to... fate? God? whatever you want to call it. The market is prime right now for a house and I am all for not having noisy neighbors downstairs and being able to have a dog or two and being able to hang things up and all that. but at the same time I also worry about being "house broke" and hurting the credit (again) I've worked so hard to build (again). I guess we'll see what happens right?

2) The IRS approved me to go back to school this fall. YAY! I've never been so happy to get to go to school. I'm only allowed 2 classes a semester and if I don't pass then I have to pay back the IRS with interest (great incentive right?) but it's free and the classes I have picked out should help me move within the IRS. I figure if they will approve all my classes I need (doubtful but one can hope) I can have my degree in 5 years. I know I'm a few years late in starting but after watching what just an associates in accounting did for my friend Daniel I'm all for it. Weber State Here I come

3) I got my 4/10's shift at my job with every friday off starting next week. I'm super pumped about that. It'll give me a day to be normal. I hope it'll help me cope with my super sucky zombie life that I am forced to live until my shameless whoreing for day jobs finally pays off. I never thought I would want a day job so badly. And yet today I found myself spending a half an hour introducing myself to higher ups at a job fair as "Hi my name is Myndi Barnett. Does your department have day jobs and how do I get them?" I think most of them thought I was joking. but hey if that's what it takes to get them to remeber my name then so be it. I'm hoping that the lines of "This job's experience will give you a leg up on the compition for the ladder positions"(which happen to have many day shifts) coupled with my never missing an opportunity to tell anyone I meet the ridiclous things I would do to get on day shift. (This weeks answer Quote 'Put a puffer fish in my shoe and run around the building' end quote)and my pulling of every string I can even think to find along with trying to be a great employee will pay off soon. God seems to be giving me a little break lately. I know it's asking a lot but if you could just let me have this one last thing.. well I'd like to hope that it would be benificial in some way but in reality I'm just so sick of nights I could scream. It's making me grumpy and short with everyone I meet. I'm deathly afraid that Andy will move to days (cuz the more I talk about my NEED to be on days for my sanity the more he says I think I want to go to days again. And his job exsists on days. whereas my exact job does not)before I can and that old monster resentment will rear it's ugly head. But I got my fridays off so I can start going back to the terrace and having a night off and trying to stay sane til I prove myself worthy of a day job. Or they take pity on me. Whatever gets me on a normal schedual again. I'm not picky.

4) Darcy Finally got her mission call. She is going to the Ohmaha Nebraska Winter Quarters Mission. Yay! I may actually be able to send her more than 3 letters her whole mission (sorry Angi. see #3 the post office is not open when I am up in my zombie state. You can blame the IRS) On the 28th She is going thru the temple and has invited me to go along. I am so proud of her for these choices and so very honored that she would include me in her day. Way to go Darc! You'll do great!

5) Daniel-See #2- Was ordained an Elder last sunday. He also invited us to be there when he was ordained and it was amazing. I am so proud of him and the choices he has made since I met him 2 years ago at files. I cannot wait for Aug to see him and his wife and son be sealed toether for time and all eternity. Way to go Daniel! I know how hard you've worked for this and you deserve it.

6) Steph Got engaged and is getting married in june (23rd I believe). She looks so happy and Allen really does care. I don't know him very well but you can see it. I'm super happy for them both. Best of luck.

7) Things with me and andy have never been better. We bottomed out a few weeks ago and had the mother of all fights. it lasted all night. we didn't go to work the next day cuz of it. He was ready to move back with his parents and I never knew how strongly I felt about all of this til then. I basically told him that if he left that he would leave with theclothes on his back and a single man who couldn't keep a promise to his God , his family, his wife or himself. Durring this massive fight we were able to weed through the minor stupid things and get to one of the major problems in this whole thing. 3 Guesses what it was? yeah. The games. well the computer in general. After a long talk in which he finally admited that is was an addiction and agreed to get help. and guess what? something stuck. he hasn't been this happy in months. Although I don't agree with depression pills and shrinks you can't argue results. at least I won't for the time being. I am thinking that he is emerging. Will there be other fights. indoubitably. Especially with my irrational behavior lately. and I know that there are things that I need to work on but this has help us so much. It's incrediable.

8) The kids thing has come up a lot lately. Apparently I missed the barnett family memo that everyone was supposed to get prego at the same time. I'm not kidding. Amanda and Erin (sister in laws that are not 9 years old) Audry (Andy's cousin who got married like 6 months before us) and at least one other cousin (whose name I don't know) on his side are prego. Add that to my plethora of friends that are prego (Heidi and Joe, Shatel and Tyler, Andrea and Jonny, Darcy's brother Kyle and his Wife Katie and Emilie and Nate off the top of my head) and a dr that keeps telling me that unless I lose over half my body weight (haha guess what doc? Tried your diet and your exercise plan and gained weight), drop my blood pressure by 50 points (again doc. Taking those pills you gave me? raises it by and average of 15 points no matter what I eat or do) and get right on having kids now i will never have kids and you get one very confused and angry ball of emotion known more commonly as myndi Awesome. I aim to prove her wrong. I know for a fact that my only job on this earth is to be a mommy. I've come to realize that I would've made a pretty shitty missionary, (the fact that I refer to myself as a "Shitty Missionary" is proof enough) that's why I wasn't able to do that despite how badly I wanted to and instead I was given the path to get married. (which is totally fine. I'm not knocking that one bit) But ever since then all I've wanted is to have kids. my whole life is focused on that (and well getting back to a normal schedual) I've always planned on having kids. when I was little I wanted like 15. Through the years I've wheedled it down to a more manageable number-3. All this oppositon telling me to just forget about it is driving me crazy. all I have to cling onto on the "it'll happen side" is a few feelings and things like that I think i may have gotten in the last few years that I could totally be misinterpreting. But Andy- in his more aware state of mind that he is now in- has mentioned a few times that after the house thing is done we should start working on the kids thing. I dunno if he can tell that I am like dying to have some or if someone is telling him or what. but I think withing the next few months we'll get to start down that path of disapointment and heartbreak. or perhaps it'll be a cakewalk like all those sexually active and/or drug addicted teenagers and people who have no problem getting prego but can't seem to be bothered to use any kind of protection so they justify killing hundreds of innocent childred each year so they can be lazy. (bit of a sore subject. if you ever so need a soap box rant come see me about abortion.) But we'll see. I'll bet there are lots more posts on this subject. but in conclusion I may get to join the ranks of the prego army that is surrounding me sometime in the near future.

so in conclusion. Life is going pretty good except for a few things. I'm actually hoping that 4 months of deep dark depression means that I get 6-8 months of happiness. the last time I was as sad and confused an miserable as I was from about Christmas to The end of last month was when I lost my job. then after that I got engaged and got 6-8 months of everything going right... mostly. so if that pattern is following again then there is hope. But only time will tell.