first day of live calls(and possibly last)

so in case anyone wonders or cares today was my first day of live calls. Let me tell you. God has a sense of humor. I wanted a chance to prove myself and he delivered by handing me all the angriest horribliest hardest calls he could find.

First off I was the first one on the headsets out of my class no one else could log in. So I was the first one to take calls. and of course first call I get is a troubleshooting call with an angry customer. Oh joy. Everyone watched as I flubbed and floundered and got hung up on after 25 minutes. Great first call. not! The next 2 calls were also troubleshooting with semi angry calls as well. actually to save time I'm just going to list all the calls I got:

• 6 troubleshooting
• 2 cancellations
• one lady that I argued with for 20 minutes about protocol, it ended when she called me a few derogatory names for "Mexican" and my manager-who was basically camped out next to me all day cuz I was having such a hard time- got on the line and told the customer that she could not treat me like that
• 3 other people who were... irate... about my inability to give them classified info.
• and 3 nice people who were very patient and understood that I was doing the best I could

and I also managed to hang up on one customer while trying to transfer her to tech support-but luckily she was one of the really nice ones. Actually all I did all day was transfer people. I felt like a switchboard operator. I can't do a damn thing in the billing system or anything but I can sure as hell transfer calls! I am the call transferring Guru. All I can say is that 8 hours is so worth an IRS job and I'd better get one. But again karma is out to get me and God has a sense of humor. I'll prolly get an IRS job as an inbound call rep. At which point I just pull out a shotgun and kill myself. if anyone hears of another, not phone related, job opening you should let me know. yeah that's pretty much it. I'm just venting. The one good thing is that there is no way tomorrow can be any worse than today was. and yet I say that and Karma will go ahhaha just to prove that's not true here's an even worse day. BOO!!!!!!!!!!

insomiatic.. is that a real word?

I can't sleep. again. So my solution again? blogging. lol I never thought I would like blogging as much as I do. Thanks Annie!

So I hit the floor Monday. This means that I will be out job hunting again on Tuesday. lol but no all things considered I'm still really nervous. I can't remember how to even do the simplest of things. So here's hoping I get an IRS job between now and then(it won't happen) or that I make it thru monday without freaking out or dying or getting fired

I get to go down to SLC with my favorite guy tomorrow... I think. I'm much excited. I also get to try and get my mom out of the house so I can put together my parents Christmas gift. I'll blog about what it is after Christmas to preserve the secret ;)

Speaking of Christmas, it'll be interesting this year. I am apparently going over to Andy's and spending a good chunk of the day with his family. They have like totally adopted me. Which makes things easier, except that you know I haven't told my family yet that I will be gone a chunk of the day. It's not like we do anything, get up open presents, then watch 8 hours of a Christmas story or go visit relatives that I don't even think are related to me they are so distantly related. But still... I dunno. It'll be an interesting day.

Yeah. I'm kinda hopped up on dew and pixy stix so this blog is random and short. But I'm going to go roll around in the snow and then hopefully get to sleep. yeah the end

I done stole this from Tara...again

Haha I'm a sucker for tags/surveys etc., what can I say. This one seems to be a movie tag with you listing your favorite movie what starts with that letter. And much like Tara I also am a Cenophile-tho I dunno if Tara has ever or would ever use that term- so many of mine have 4,5 or 10 answers! lol I dunno about ten but... OK here goes:

• A-American History X-great movie I think everyone should prolly see this one once even tho it's kinda hard to sit thru-Apacolypto, A scanner Darkly, American Pie one thru three, Austin Powers one thru three,Alpha Dog


• B- Billy Madison (best Adam Sandler Movie Ever!)-I'll steal that one Batman Begins,Blades of Glory, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Butterfly Effect
  
• C- Crash, Cars, Charlie Bartlett


• D-Dark knight, Disturbia, Deuces Wild, Dangerous Lives of Alter boys,


• E-Eagle Eye, Eight Mile


• F-Fight Club, 1408,


• G- The Guardian, Get smart, Golden Compass Goonies


• H-Hairspray, Hamlet 2, Harold and Kumar one and two, Half baked,


• I- I Am Legend, the Italian Job, Idiocracy, Imaginationland


• J-Juno, Jarhead,John Q


• K- Kung Fu Panda


• L-Live free or Die Trying, Lord of War, Lords of Dogtown


• M-, Mean Girls, Mama Mia, Matrix one and three, Meet the Spartans, Mad money, Mr. Brooks, Monty Python and the Holy Grail


• N-Newsies, Nightmare before Christmas, Never Back Down


• O- Orange County, Office Space


• P- Pineapple Express, The Producers, Pan's Labryinth(the secret of where I got my blog name is out) The Prestige
  
• Q- Quantum of Solace


• R-Rent,Role Models,Requiem for a Dream,Road trip, Robin Hood: Men in Tights!


• S-Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Superbad, Stoploss, Step up one and two, Scary movies one two and three, Step Brothers, South park: bigger longer uncut,Starship troopers, SLC Punk, Saints and Soldiers, Singles ward,Shooter


• T- Tommy Boy, Ten things I hate about you, Twenty-one, Team America:world police, Traffic,310 to Yuma


• U-United States of Leland, United 93


• V-Vantage Point,View From The Top,V for Vendetta, Vertical Limit


• W- What Happens In Vegas, Wanted,


• X- X-men one thru three


• Y-Young Frankenstein,


• Z-Zoolander, Zack And Miri

That was pretty hard. Once you found one it made you think of another and another and another.. lol ok well there ya go. anyone who wants it can steal it

This counts as typing practice, right?

I HATE KEYBOARDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K got that out of my system. I Cannot pass keyboarding if my life depended on it. I pretty much hate it. its a stupid pointless class cuz in the real world there is this key called backspace that you can use as much as you would like. I've used it like 30 times in the last sentence alone. But I got out what I wanted to say and I didn't look. BAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! and why the hell do I need keyboarding anyway? accounting. numbers not typing. bah!

on a completely unrelated note I learned a valuable lesson last night that I will now impart to you:

One should never eat 50 something(the number varies from text to text last night.. so I'm not entirely sure how many I had. Somewhere between 54-58) pixy stix and 40 ozs of dew at 10 at night-or prolly at any one time-regardless of how tired one may be. Especially if one expects to go home and go to sleep. It doesn't happen. One will end up jumping on one's bed until almost 3 am and sending horribly random texts to ones favorite nerd. (sorry babe) Just saying... it's not a good idea prolly.

and another completely unrelated note. I need to figure out my new years resolutions here is what I'm thinking of doing.:

• Cut back to one dew a day. this one will prolly win and then I'll break it halfway thru the year cuz that's how I roll.
• Move out. This one will happen by November it's not really a resolution, more like a new years promise.
• Get an IRS job. this one had better be a new years promise or I start stabbing eyes. I was good at my job and I jumped thru every hoop they've asked. I now have 6 perfect score sitting in the bank. I had better get an email right quick about my job or the eyes will have it(it being a fork stabbed into them) haha pun.
• scripture study. I've gotten really bad about that.. ideally I'd like to have it every day, but three times a week would be better than I'm getting right now.

so there is part of my starting list. I'll weed it out to like 4 or 5 in the next 2 weeks but if you have any suggestions feel free to let me know.

stream of consciencness

For anyone what hasn't taken Mrs. Isaccs ap lit course-prolly everyone reading this. all three of you- stream of consciencness means that the writer tries to capture how thoughts happen on paper. Most of my posts are similar to this concept. And this one will be no different. But I don't really have a good title for it and it sounds deep.

I pretty much hate waking up to find that it is negative degrees and has been snowing all night. I pretty much hate snow unless it is a warm day and I am skiing on it. Pretty much. People forget how to drive in snow. I kid you not one truck was barreling down the road at 65 mph right down the middle when I went to work yesterday. um if it's snowing speed limits are still enforced-the speed around my house is 30-40 mph depending where you are at- and two cars still need to fit on the road. everyone doesn't move for you. Or you get those other people that only go 15 mph. EVERYWHERE! um. We're on the freeway and I'm in first gear? I don't think so. I'm all about slowing down and being a little more aware and stuff but that is a little ridiculous.
Also it means I'm confined to this house and my dad is also confined to his house.(For the record they are the same house. but I don't really feel a claim here anymore other than it's the place I live until I get an IRS job, married, or Nov.) Which usually ends in me getting an ass load of chores, or him asking me stupid things like "can you help me shop for your mom?" Um. No. I don't know her sizes and I have the fashion sense of a bear. (And that may insult the bear.) hello. I wear a black tee shirt, converse, and jeans every single day of my life. Also I'm still not all about going anywhere with you. Why don't you ask Ellie the "fashionista"? I'm sure she would be a much better fit than me. What a stupid question.
I'm hoping it stops snowing and it all goes away before Saturday. I am so Excited to go down to temple square with Andy. And I am not getting the lecture about driving in snow yet again-I've gotten it twice this year already. And the infamous 'call us when you get there' Forget that. 20. Grew up in Utah. And the last time I called to tell you I was where I said I was going to be because I was trying to be nice this is how the phone was answered "Whats wrong? you crashed right? oh god where are you?" yeah. You think I'm joking. So I'm not dealing with that anymore. Again. 20. Driving for 4 years by myself and about 8 on top of that not by myself. I know what I'm doing. And short of a giant blizzard or whatev I'm going down to the SLC with Andy.

And there you have it. My thoughts for the past 15 minutes. I am pretty bored.

List of shows I wish to see before I die

This one is mostly just for my own personal gain. but if anyone hears anything on them and wants to let me know that'd be cool too:

1. Spring Awakening. The more I find on this the more I want to see it. But this is one that will never make it into Utah I'm sure But I'm hoping it'll make it's way into Las Vegas and I can get out there to see it
2. Avenue Q. again. never coming to Utah. and already left Vegas. but one day...
3. Wicked. Yeah. This one will be in Utah. But no more tickets. awe damn. again someday...or like i was telling Tara, I'll just jump someone as they head in and take their tickets.. not really but...
4. Spamalot. Again I missed it when it came last year.
5. Young Frankenstein. Best Mel Brooks movie. Ever. As a musical? almost orgasmic.(Sorry for my liberal language. I'm listening to spring awakening and that's the best way to describe it) But it closes in Jan of 2009. Dunno if I'll ever get to see it
6. Naked boys:singing. Morbid Curiosity. with a name like that... come one
7. Eqqus. Anytime something is full of controversy I want to see it. I had no intention of ever seeing the golden compass but when there was so much stuff about it I had to go see it-good movie btw not worth the controversy- same with prop 8. I really didn't have a stand on it til everyone else did.(also see the first two shows I want to see.. yeah) But aside from that it sounds like an intriguing show. Psychological straight play about a 17 year old that stabs houses in the eye with and ice pick?
8. My first time. Again. Just kinda a morbid curiosity. Straight play about peoples first sexual experiences?
9. Prayer for my enemy. Sounds like something I would want to see. Kinda sounds like stoploss which is one of my favorite movies unfortunately it ends on DEC 21,2008. so i dunno if it'll come off or I'll just have to live with never seeing it

I'll list more when i think of them. But that is kinda a comprehensive list... someday

I don't really have a good title for this...

Yesterday was.. I dunno..

I'd gotten in about 6 am Saturday morning cuz I stayed out with some people from teleperformance to watch them get smashed. so I came in and went to sleep for a minute. Then about 830 or 9 my mom came in and asked if I wanted to to go to breakfast with her and my dad. I don't know why she asks my answer is always the same. always. no. because
A) it's too damn early
B) I'm almost always fighting with my dad or on a neutral ground but I still would rather stay away to minimize the chances of starting said fight back up and
C) The two of them act like 17 year olds.. all the time. It drives me up the wall. If I so much as hold Andy's hand I get lectured but they get to make out all the time. no. it pisses me off cuz I don't wanna see that and it always happens.
So I waited for them to leave then got up, showered, did all my computer stuff I was going to do and then went back to sleep. Then my alarm went off at 2 pm so I could get up and go to Andy's family party with him. As I was leaving my dad spoke the first words he'd said to me in 3 days which was "it'll freeze tonight, drive safely" which isn't much but it's more than I have been getting and it means he respects my decision to stop putting forth effort. well at least acknowledges it.

So I went to Andy's family thing. Which was really fun. It was his mom's side of the family and there were like cute little kids running all over and i got to meet all kinds of his relatives.. some were awesome. some were... interesting.. but it was fun. Then we decided that that was enough family time for a while so we decided to go see the day the earth stood still. Which was also interesting. But I really liked it. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a movie to go see. It's got some cool special effects and although I don't much care for Jennifer connely-I did love her in requiem for a dream, but I just love that movie-I love Keanu Reeves and Will Smiths little boy-Jaden- is such a good actor. And so cute!

After the movie got over-it was almost midnight-we had to go up to walmart and get some milk and stuff for Andy's family then we went back to his house and sat in the car talking until like 2 am when we decided to go to the bk lounge and get chicken wraps and cheesy tots. (and because even tho he won't admit it he wanted to listen to the rest of my Broadway/disco music ;) ).. well he wanted food. I just didn't want to go home. Then we went back to his house and stood talking until like almost 4. Then I came home.

WARNING: this next part contains a paragraph so cheesy a Kraft box couldn't handle it and so much sap that it puts a maple tree to shame ;) you have been warned

It was so weird. I've never been able to really talk to anyone like him. And I love being held by him. I'm not usually all about being all touchy feely. but I feel so safe with him. like nothing could ever hurt me. I can be feeling so horrible and not care about anything and 2 hours with him makes life worth living again(IE last Thursday) He can make me feel like things I constantly beat myself up for don't matter anymore, and he never allows me to make jokes at my own expense. I dunno what I did to deserve him but I should do more of it.

anywho yeah. that's pretty much it

Dedicated to my dad

I found this. Right now and forever more if you are going to act like a 7 year old then this song is for you:
(It's called postcards from hell by zebrahead. I couldn't get a youtube video to embed on here . but I think the song is on the player on here. if you can work that you stupid fuck. pay special attention to the second verses and the chorus I'll even make the lyrics stand out)

I didn't see the signs posted on the road
Dead end gives way to the cliff that soars
And I lose control your face still looks bored
One, two, fuck you! I won't change for you

Wrong way This time it's going down
You say I'm immature to hang around
Okay Face-plant to the ground
I won't change for you I won't change for you

Tonight I wash my hands of you
You set the bar I could not live up to
Tonight the light in breaking through
So thank you very little and send me postcards from hell

This relationship is over as we scrape the ledge
and you call me a loser falling over the edge Like you're cutting all your losses
Like a bet you can hedge
One two, fuck you! I won't change for you

A black eye and my heart is ripped out of my chest
Crucified
For not passing any of your stupid tests
Good-bye
Right now I could care less
I won't change for you I won't change for you

Tonight I wash my hands of you
You set the bar I could not live up to
Tonight the light in breaking through
So thank you very little and send me postcards from hell

We've come a long way Don't look down!
Your heart is rotten Your heart is rotten
Too bad it was the wrong way
Won't be long now Till we hit the rock Bottom

Tonight I wash my hands of you
You set the bar I could not live up to
Tonight the light in breaking through
So thank you very little and send me postcards from hell

Tonight I wash my hands of you
You set the bar I could not live up to
Tonight the light in breaking through
So thank you very little and send me postcards from hell

so there you have it. I'm fucking done. when you can mature up and admit that you are wrong then we can talk. but until then this song stands. Although You'll prolly hate me forever when I get married in the temple and you can't come cuz you refuse to admit that maybe you aren't always right and because I refuse to turn out like you and have something I believe so strongly in that I would risk losing my family over it. so you know what. GROW THE FUCK UP. I meant what I said. I'm done changing for you and I'm done putting forth the effort. don't touch my shit or talk to me. cuz I'm fucking done.

just eff my dad at this point(and other random ramblings)

So. my last post was amazingly.. depressing. But I had some more realizations last night:

1. My dad is amazingly childish.


2. I have the same weaknesses he does. But unlike him I am willing to admit that I am wrong and don't know anything and trust God even if i don't like what I am being told.


3. I'm done putting forth all the effort to try and keep things pleasant, or at least livable.


4. and I was going to lose him when I got married anyway. We're just starting a little early.

It's amazing. I went from feeling like the most worthless piece of sh*t on the planet and in 20 minutes with Andy all that went away. Gone. I was level headed-well as levelheaded as I get-and wondered why I cared in the first place. I have Andy and I am happy. Nothing else should matter. Amazing. I then went to work(which is a joke anymore. I'm not learning jack squat at this point I'd rather be out on the floor. yes I still wouldn't know how to do what I'm aposta be learning but at east if I got a live call about it I would have to learn-baptism by fire and all you know- but I'm still hoping for an IRS job right quick like January. before the job bid at teleperformence. but that's a whole different story) and learned about the history of the spork. I kid you not. I was that bored(btw 50,400 seconds until the weekend. yes. again.I was that bored) and then it was time to come home. I listened to Christmas music and choir music and night driving by thrice so I would be calm when I got home so I could try and at least not make things worse. I got in my dad just glared at me from the time i walked in and I went "hi" as pleasantly as I could(I'm good at faking pleasant. remember? Wendy's 3 years. telemarketer now. yeah. I can be sweet as pie.. or so you would think) And he takes that an shits on it. "I won't ask you about your life anymore so you won't rip my head off. I'm sorry I care too much." (My first thought was a giant. I'm sorry you care too much about yourself and you resent me.... but I was trying to not sever this completely) so I said you know what? I tried and you rejected. Sit her and be a bitter selfish old man. I'm done putting forth effort. I'm not hurt or mad anymore but I sure as hell am done." and I walked away. He hasn't spoken or even looked at me since but that's fine. I was going to lose him anyway.

Next point. I'm finally OK with getting married at 20. lol it didn't take much to convince me, just a few divine kicks upside the head. ;) The problem now comes when it becomes official and we have to tell our-my-family.(I guess I should still speak hypothetically.. if it becomes official) Andy comes from an extra religious family. as in he is like directly related to some of the first members of the church(I think its the smiths but I'm not sure.) there was really never any doubt he was going to go on mission and he's never been accused of being "too good for this family" I'm sure. His brother was married in the temple. Even tho his two sisters couldn't come. It won't be a big huge deal. they would all go good basically.

My family is different. There are 4 relatives on my side that could actually be inside the temple. 4. And at least two of them aren't close enough to me to make the trip up here from Nephi or wherever. yeah. so my two grandmas.. maybe. My mom and I have already had a big blow out about this a few months ago. It went something like this:

Mom: So what's the deal with you and Andy?

Me: I dunno. We're dating.

Mom: So is it like serious?

Me: I dunno

Mom: well if things do become serious I'd like you to think about getting married outside the temple first so your father and I can be there.

Me: That won't happen. If you guys want to be there when/if I get married you know what you need to do. you've got plenty of time

Mom: You just hate your family and don't want them there. You Know your father would never change and never let me do what it would take.

Me: Well that's you Guy's choice. I don't hate you. I would like nothing more than for you guys to be there. But I won't compromise. I will never end up in a house like this again. Full of distrust and resentment and anger. and if/when I find someone I would care enough about to give myself to I won't risk losing him. I will be with him for all eternity. What if in that year before we could go again One of us died? or something. or we were never eligible again? cuz that happens more often than one would think. Then the whole til death do you part would stand. I won't have that happen.

Mom: you know your father would be crushed...

Me: again, his choice. But I've made mine and I won't waiver so get used to the idea*turns to leave*

Mom:*screaming* you just want any excuse to cut your family out of your life! That boy has brainwashed you with a bunch of pretty pictures! You'll regret not having your family there for the rest of your life!

Me:*now severely ticked and also screaming* He is not brainwashing me! I made this choice long ago! You are the one who got brainwashed! I'm sorry I have standards and won't settle. You made your choices long ago too! I'll regret not having my family there sure. but I'd regret not doing what I know is right even more. And my kids will have the example to look up to. one or both parents will be rms and married in the temple. the first time. you can be to the reception after and all the other stuff but I won't change. And if I ever hear you talk about Andy that way again regardless of if you are my mother or not I will knock you on your ass. You do not get to talk about him like that. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. EVER! He accepts me for who I am and he has saved me from myself so many times before. So I suggest you either find a way to change or accept that you can't be there. Cuz this discussion is over!

I then got in my car and drove away. This was months ago. like August. when we had first started dating. So I've always kinda known the impact this choice would have. Now I'm actually purely terrified to start this up again. It would break my mom's heart to not be able to actually be there. But She'd accept my decision even if she didn't agree. My dad on the other hand would think it was just my way of Keeping him out of my life and would disown me. Not only that but he would force my mom and sister-as long as they lived there- to ostracise me as well. Ellie would support me. I'm sure. We've talked about it. And maybe if I went thru all the hard huge fights-that I can handle. or I would. whether I could or not-it would make things easier on her when and if her time comes and she makes that choice. I don't want to lose my family or have to choose between them and my God. But if forced I will. And My God will win. Every time. Then hopefully things would work out from there. But yeah. again. These are initial concerns. I've decided I will deal with any and all of them when the time comes from here on out-HA as I laugh at myself right...-or so I say.

Yeah. So this is my amazing life. Aren't you jealous?

eff my family, and my life.

I realized a few things last night:

1. My dad is a stubborn selfish asswipe that refuses to change
2. I am just like him
3. I have to get out of this house. and soon. or One of us will end up dead or in jail
4. Andy is absolutely the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I don't know what I did to deserve him but it was obviously something amazing. and
5. because of this I can't let him in my life more than he is.

I love him too much to put him thru this hell hole that I call life. I can't. I would rather die alone and miserable than ever condemn another person to this. I can't stand the thought of being so insecure that I have to rule him with fear and guilt the way my dad has been doing to my mom of late. And I can't stand the thought of resenting my future children the was my dad does me. If I hadn't come along he wouldn't've ever had to marry my mom. they coulda just continued living in sin. Or the thought of my kids being chased out of their own house, Knowing that the damn dog has more claim to this house than they do. I can't stand it. And the person that would do that to them is me. That gene or trait or blood or idea has been natured or nurtured into me so strongly that I don't know that I could ever change it. The only way to be sure and not do this to the ones I love is to never let them get close enough for me to do it. Once I am out of this contentious shithole of a house I can never come back. and I will never allow my house to get like this. ever. I don't know what to do. I love andy more than I ever thougth possible and I think I got divine permission last night but I know that in order to be worthy to enter the temple and have myself ready to receive.. whatever it is I'm aposta learn when I go in there I would have to forgive my dad. Truly forgive him. And I can't do that. I'll be eternally damned but I cannot do it. And I could never allow anyone I love so strongly to settle for the broken distrustful person that I am. Not in good conscience. And even as I type this I know that I would rather be with andy and the knowledge that he had settled and that I was a selfish human than ever lose him. My life revolves around him and I have a life because of him. he's stopped me from doing stupid things so many times he doesn't even know. From giving up and ending up back in the word of wisdom prison that I struggled so hard to escape to talking enough sense into me that I realize that assault with a deadly weapon is not the answer. Even tho it would force my father to listen to me it would forever sever any chance of repairing this and it would land me my second or third strike. at 20 I could be facing life with no parole. it's not worth it. I dunno.

Not really lovin possesive pronouns

So I just got my English test back.. I got an 84% on possessive pronouns. Not so thrilled. It's enough it doesn't hurt my need to not take that final but I think I coulda done better if I hadn't put it off for a month cuz I didn't like the new teacher guy. He's mellowed out tho.. and so have I.. so it's.. tolerable... yeah anyway that's my update.. next stop pronouns and antecedents

I'm not sure what just happened but I think I got one of my wishes.. or will be soon..I think

Last night was My Rigby/Sparkes/like 5 other surnames side of the family Christmas party(aka my moms). I've never really been all about this party cuz.. well take me at my loudest and most obnoxious and times it by about 200. You now have the Rigby side of the family. We are big fat loud redneck mofos! Actually it's really close to the party in my big fat Greek wedding..you know.. just loud and boisterous and welcoming and HUGE! It can be fun at times. But add that to the fact that I don't really know about 185 of the people on that side and my cousins are like 43 and 38. yes. my first cousins. their kids are closer to my age than they are. it's not so much fun. There was always me and Ren(my 3rd cousin) that were the same age.. and everyone else was either like 4 years younger or 10 years older. Crazy.

Anyway. so I decided-after much guilt from my mom and much begging and pleading from various aunts and grandmas and stuff-that Andy needed to meet this side of the family. For a few reasons:

1. It would be a good test. If he can handle this side of my family without running away in fear he's a keeper
2. He needs to know the gene pool he's getting into-perhaps
3. Someone for me to talk to and
4. This is the side of the family that at my Grandma's 90th birthday party(when Andy didn't come) kept asking things like "where's this Andy we've heard so much about" and "When is your wedding? let me see your ring" and "where are your two kids and husband?"-I dunno where that one came from-I was in a constant changing state of relationship. from pregnant unwed mother that the "babydaddy" ran off to married with two kids and everything in between. I felt the need to generate a few rumors *mischievous grin*. Hey they are my blood. They are stuck with me Forever! So I feel that it's OK to be an ass once in a while

so I took him. We had to show up a little early to help set up cuz it was the sparkes turn to set up-we rotate who is in charge by "family" so my grandma's three kids-my mom my aunt and my uncle-and their immediate families-ie kids and kids kids and spouses-and that was defiantly the worst part. There were only like 12 people there so it was interrogation city for him. But then as more people showed up we were able to slip under the radar and not get interrogated too badly. Haha and my 90 year old grandma ran right up to Andy and gave him this Huge hug when we both got there and was all "there's my Andy!" and he just kinda laughed like.. ok? haha My grandma is one of those people you can't help but love. So we ate then it was time for the gift exchange. Which meant He had to go sit with the guys. and I had to sit with he girls.. on the other side of the room. so that was interesting. but we got thru that then we left right quick. And were were driving around and talking about all the weddings we have coming up-I have like at least 3 friends, and one family friend and he has his sister and his cousins- and he stops halfway thru his sentence and goes "G*****n my brain" and I go.."Um......K...what?" and he goes"nevermind. it just has to do with a topic that has been brought up quite a few times tonight" and I kinda internally went "ah!!!!" cuz the last time those two sentences were put together was when the whole love thing came up... but anyway we decided to go see bolt-which is ADORABLE! btw- and then we got to his house so I could drop him off and we were sitting there talking cuz I was pissed cuz my dad had left me like 3 voicemails all of them starting with "don't ignore me.. why do you think I pay for you to have a phone?"-when it goes straight to voicemail without ringing. the phone is off.. I'm not ignoring you-gr.. anywho and we were talking about Jeff Dunham and he goes you have got to see the Christmas special. I've got it on my ipod.. you wanna watch? and I said yeah I do. so we sat in my car watching Jeff Dunham(.com lol anyone who watches him gets that) for an hour then it was like 1:15 in the morning so I started trying to leave kinda so we got out and started talking and making horrible lame jokes and stuff.. cuz it was really late for both of us-neither of us got much sleep the night before- and so we were standing there and I was talking about how that side of the fam only gets together once a year so he's safe for another year and how I'm not all about extended family usually and he goes "well my brother says when you get married your extended family consists of your brothers and sisters" all cryptic like. And whatev. So yeah we finally decided at about like 2:15 it was time to go in cuz he was about to lose extremities cuz the boy doesn't wear a coat. I really won't think less of you for not wanting frost bite. Hell I admit I'm cold all the time.. I steal his coat in his car all the time. ;) but so yeah I left adn then cuz I'm much braver over text than I ever would be in person I sent him this:

Btw is this your way of telling me I should be paying tithing and all that other stuff that would allow me to enter the temple again?

And his response was:

Lol I guess if you want to say that. But I need to do that too lol.

WHAT THE CRAP DOES THAT MEAN?! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dunno what to even think.. and he knows I'll stew on it that why he's hinting about it. And the worst part is I totally texted Darcy. like immediately. cuz yeah.. I needed advice and all that jazz and said:

I realize you're sleeping and I hope your phone is off so I don't wake you.. but I think I was just told I should plan on not going on a mission...

and I woke up to this response:

Wow... you THINK? You mean you aren't SURE? ;) what happened? and You want to know the bizarre thing? when you told me that you were taking Andy to your party I had the weirdest feeling and I knew something was going to happen! Of course I just laughed at myself but.. wow.. that's weird...

AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Ok... lol now that that is kinda out of my system if anyone has any thoughts I could totally use them.. I'm going to go attempt to clean my room I think to try and keep my mind shut off...I mean I love him and I'm pretty sure this is what I've wanted from day like.. 5.. but now that this is an actual possibility instead of just wishful thinking I'm really really nervous.. I think.. it's all really new... I think.. I dunno.

No one must die.. just yet

SO I finally heard back from the IRS. I have a fingerprinting session on Wednesday. For any of you who don't know this is a big deal for me for a few reasons:

1. I hate my job as a customer service rep. I hate having to be nice to angry stupid people and having to work weekends and all that jazz
2. I miss my old job so much it hurts. physically hurts. I imagine this is what truly getting your heart broken would be like.
3. I miss the pay.. and the people. and the job security, and the insurance, and the ability it would give me to move out.. like right quick

I got 6 100 scores(it's out of 100) and the two they called me for fingerprinting for is a gs03 perm and a gs04 perm. what this means is that if and when I get called in I am in. No more furlough. And if I could get the gs04 again I'd be making about what I was making when I left. but with a union and insurance and all that fun stuff that I wasn't getting with IAP before. The other plus is that if the IRS were to outsource the files or whatev again it isn't a you just lost your job. once you are in unless you really f**k up or leave of your own free will you are in. They will just move you to a new department. I'm really hoping to get this job back. I'm sure I'll blog about it after every step

Next point. WTF happened with Verizon about an hour ago? did anyone Else's service just go out for about half an hour? yeah.. I dunno.. it was annoying

lol anywho.. I'm getting kicked off the damn computer cuz my stupid father is a selfish prick who can't seem to get that I work swings now.. that means I'm up until about 2 or later and i want to be on the computer when I get home cuz I never have time anytime else but no he confines me to my room cuz he has to sleep on the couch! GRR! This is why I'm moving out asap. anywho peace

insomnia

No matter how tired I am in class when I get home I am horribly awake so I stay that way til about 130. The good news? Malcolm in the middle plays on CW30 at 1 am. the bad news? at 7 when my alarm goes off. I'm freakin tired and grumpy. So i am going to blog about everything til either A) I get tired or B) Malcolm comes on

First: work.

It's not as bad as I thought it would be. I mean Granted I'm still in training and I haven't had that pissed off guy that threatens my life cuz I won't give him 5 free iphones but when they told me there were like 29 different computer programs that you use like every day I got a little nervous but so far I am retaining the info pretty well and able to use about 5 systems. and my years at Wendy's have taught me how to up sell so as long as I can keep my temper in check(I'm taking bets on this... I have everything form 5 minutes after I get a call to never getting fired if you would like to place one.. you have til the 21st on midnight)I think I'll do OK.

Speaking of keeping my temper in check. I'm learning about that this week. The girl I sit next to in class for this week is the most negative person I I have ever met! Emo/goth kids are more positive than this lady She complains about everything and acts like we should all care that her boyfriend is in jail leaving her to fend for herself and her two kids. She sits in class doing her make up and texting and drawing and then will wait til it's free time to independently work on what we've just discussed then she will bug me until I show her. This is how it usually goes:

Instructor: Ok class. You have ten minutes to work on adding a group feature and an individual feature

Girl who shall not be names (GWSNBN): *grabs my arm* wait what? I'm so lost and stupid. I'm just so tired cuz my boyfriend's in jail and my kid is sick and blah blah blah

Me:*mutters under breath* maybe if you payed attention...

G: What?

M: nothing.. get into the billing system...

G: what? csp? is it this *clicks on calculator*

M: *mutters* oh my.. *to other girl next to me* Hey Kristy since you've worked here before can you show [GWSNBN] how to do this so I can learn this too *whispers* and cuz you are more patient than I am

K: sure *moves over*

then this girl talks during the whole thing. asking questions that either a) have already been asked.. twice. b) have nothing to do with what we are discussing (IE we are discussing the billing system GWSNBN will ask about text messaging plans) or c) are just random comments about her life that have no relevance whatsoever... I can't freakin hear with her and when we partner up and I get stuck with her nothing gets done and I end up pulling something out of my ass to cover the fact that she wouldn't do anything but complain and mope and get so lost in the computer that the simplest thing-go to the at&t website- is like asking her to calculate the trajectory of this space probe.. in Latin. Grr.


Next item to calm down: My wonderful boyfriend.

As pissed off as I have been in the past few weeks with him and his gaming "habits" (IE addictions. I feel like i need a wow-anon for him.. Darcy I think I just found the name ;) woot for sleep deprivation! ) When I'm with him all that goes away.. unless he's on the game with his headphones in ignoring me then I feel like I'm on a date with Casper and I start to get ticked.. but again "nother post entirely But he's put up with the greenwell side of the family and is now getting ready to face the rigby/sparkes/like 45 other names (aka my mom's side) side of the family which are a crazy bunch of mofos and he allows me to blow up his inbox venting and come over when I am so crazy and depressed and pissed and a whole plethora of emotions and just let me vent or deal or whatev and be there. This is one of the many reasons I love him and put up with this wow addiction...

Yeah so now Malcolm is on so I'm outtie.. night ya'll

Oh how I hate school.(mild-moderate cursage)

K so I'm feeling amazingly useless right now. I go to school most days and work for most of the time and yet I feel like I'm swimming against the current. I'm stuck in freakin keyboarding cuz I can't type 40 wpm with that damn blinder on and I lost my english book for a while so back when I had Dr. Mann as an instructor/advisor I was doing about a chapter a week in English.. now that I have Lynn Davis I have been stuck on chapter 6 (possessive pronouns) for 5 weeks... Grr. It kinda makes me rethink this whole tech college thing... add on the fact that I don't get home until midnight and I usually can't fall asleep until about 130 or 2 and then I have to get back up at 7 to go to school til 10 then back home to sleep til noon then I get up and do like one thing then I have to go to work until midnight I can't get anything done during the day either. I feel like my whole day is wasted. in some ways I think it'll be easier in a few weeks when I go live and my whole day is lumped together. School til 10 the work from 1130 to 8 ish, then I can go home and crash. but I still won't get any time to see Andy, not that that'll change much.. Stupid wow til 5 am.... but that's a whole nother post entirely... adn when there are freaking 20 other computers in the room and only 3 of them in use, and the three of us are spread out, why in the hell would you come sit right next to me? go pick another computer. I don't care if it is your favorite. get here earlier or pick another computer. I'm not moving when I'm half done with my lesson and I hate having your crap all over my desk space and having you ask 87 questions so Lynn comes over and stands right behind me and makes it impossible to work or goof off or even sit comfortably cuz my chair has to be pushed in to the max! Pick a new damn spot or I'll have to resort to beig an ass so you'l go away! sorry I'm grumpy and frustrated with school today.. yeah that's pretty much it