black friday.. oh the insanity!

Today was black Friday. Aka The craziest day like EVA! I was on my way home from Andy's last night at about 130 in the morning and I drove by Sam's club-where they had $350 dollar laptops and $425 wii systems with like 3 controllers 3 nunchucks, 3 games and the wii system and there were people lining up and COPS already! Insane. I got up around 1130 and went and picked up my little sister and her friend who were brave enough to venture out in the earlyish hours of the morning and I could not find a place to park. Could not! I had to drive around and Call Ellie to have her come find me! Then we went to target cuz we got my parents a fire pit for Christmas and there were still like 85 thousand people there and the shelves were like barren! they had this display of like $3 movies! There was like one movie and the display had been ripped down! I didn't even dare go to walmarts! NUTS!

Haha but while I was waiting for my sister and her friend to pay for wrapping paper I ran into Andy's Cousin Audry, His Aunt Linda, His Aunt Kathy, and his cousin Shaylynn so that was kinda fun. I seem to attract Barnett's or something Cuz a little while later I ran into his brother, sister in law, and their two kids... haha ;) it was funny

Also just to brag: aside from the making of a few things and the shopping for my sister cuz she was with me all day, I am done with Christmas shopping! yes! I'll still prolly go, but I don't have to! Everyone who is getting a gift from me this year is taken care of. Thank you Thank you

that's pretty much it

Note to self:

List of movies one shouldn't watch just days after ones dog died:

1. My dog Skip
2. All dogs go to heaven

OK it's a short list.. I'll add more when I think of them. But one shouldn't watch these particular movies back to back 4 days after ones dog has died... unless one would like a bawlfest...

Thanksgiving...and my crazy family

So I finally got Andy to come to family stuff.. I'm easing him into my family (unlike he did me but that's another story ;) jk) so anyway I got him to come to my family's thanksgiving and stuff.. It was my dad's side of the family so there was my family of me my mom my dad and my sister- all of which he's met- my grandma greenwell-who he's met- my uncle, one cousin, and my grandma sparkes-which he hasn't met. It was interesting to say the least..

First off within ten minutes of our getting there my dad points at Andy and says "Andy come on"... and Andy does cuz what can you do? THEY THEN GET IN THE CAR AND LEAVE!!!!!!!!!

Let me explain. Andy and I are both night people. Therefore we hang out til like 2 or three in the morning a lot. To my parents, that are both just SO-O trusting of me, this means that he and I are breaking various chastity rules and among other things. (which we are not....in case anyone was wondering) Upon entering my house the first thing I am asked is "what were you doing this late?" and the standard response is "we were just talking" which is true... yeah. I usually have to take a pregnancy test once every other month or so.. you think I'm kidding..now you see a tiny bit of why I was nervous..

Back to the story...where was I? oh yes...ahem.. THEY GET INT HE CAR AND LEAVE!!!!!!!!! It took about .5 seconds for me to FREAK OUT! I have no idea what is going on or if I'll ever see my nerd again.... EVER! They were back in like five minutes but it felt like a long time... like forever and a day then we had dinner where Andy proceeded to rip my sister apart in a hilarious way

then we went to his grandmas house where we talked with his family for like 3 hours.. now I'm watching him play wow on blogging on his laptop so he'll be able to find my blog and read all those posts about him.. and I don't really care because I doubt that he can be near a computer without playing wow.. if it's installed.. so I think I'm safe ;)

My little Eddybear

I figured since most people didn't get to meet my little eddybear before he was run down I would post pics. I just really miss him mostly.



This is Ed and Hunter Begging My sister(that's her green shirt in the corner

Here He is sleeping on the couch. He was quite a spoiled hound He got to sleep on the couch with a blanket

And A pillow. The red/tan/brown dog in his sister charly. They were always together... for anyone who's read where the red fern grows They really were old dan and lil anne.

Here's one where I was trying to sneak up and get a pic of him with his tongue out. He woke up and kinda looked at me like.. Huhwha?

Here he is with his pillow again. Hunter is sitting with him this time.

I call this the Eddybear pose..

Here he is with his blanket again looking at me and ellie like 'you are strange'

this is the last one I got of him before he was gone. I needed a pic of how he got his name This is how he would sleep. When he was little my dad brought both dogs home and said "he made me take the male but don't get too used to him. We're not keeping him." Well you can't bring an adorable little puppy home to three girls and then say that. We kept him for a while but we never really gave him a name.. we just called him puppy. About 2 months after we got him he got parvo. We fed him pedialite and Gatorade and nursed him back to health against all odds. Obviously after that he was ours. But he still had no name. My mom one day while taking the dogs to the kennel said "ed charly kennel up" and I looked at her and said "who's ed?" My mom said "I was sick of just calling him Puppy or Dog so I named him after the hyena on the lion king cuz he kinda looks like him and he sleeps with his tongue out" and the name stuck

There are places in our front yard where the grass is worn out because Ed was content to run circles around the house for hours and hours. Just running in circles barking happily.

A few years ago we couldn't find Ed. We were hollering and hollering but we couldn't find him. Then out of one of our peach trees Ed jumped. He had been sitting in the v of this tree eating peaches for the last half hour. IN THE TREE! he had figured out how to get up in the tree

Sometimes you would call him and pat your lap like you wanted him to sit with you and he would jump up and sit up on your shoulder like a parrot. He earned the nickname pirate Ed for that one.

If he heard music he would come and jump up and put his front paws on your shoulders and whine until you danced with him. He was Ed the dancing Hound.

He was brave enough to take on bears and coyotes and wild beasts of all kinds yet gentle enough that when wylie or zack or any number of rough or young kids would come over they could climb all over him and he would let them. He never got rough or even nipped at anyone

He was my dad's best coyote hunting tool cuz he would run for miles on end without getting tired.

He was my mom's baby. She named him and did most of the nursing when he got sick. He loved watching soaps and survivor with my mom.

He was my sisters doll. Friday she painted his nails pink despite my protests. She was the one that came up with the name Eddybear

He was my bronco buddy. He loved to sit up in the recliner with me during the games. He would jump up when I did and when they were losing or doing badly he would growl at the TV. He also loved to jump up on me when I was reclined and flop over on his back and recline with me.

We've kept him alive so many times. against all odds he made it to four years old. And I daresay he had some of the best four years a hound could ever ask for. I mean how ridiculous is it that we had a lap hound? It's pretty silly and yet I wouldn't trade it for anything, no matter how much of a redneck it makes us. He got to go out and run and chase small helpless animals and bark and pee to his hearts content about 3 times a week.

This house just isn't the same without his adorable stupid grin and happy bark as he ran about begging for food or attention or just someone to play with.

I hope he's up in heaven with my other dogs booner and sadie and spike and coco and my two grandpas and various other relatives. I hope he has a place to run circles around and All the food he could ever want. As you can maybe tell from the pictures we could never keep any weight on him. Ever. We constantly fed him and always way more than the other dogs and yet he was always starving it seems. We could never figure it out. At least now he doesn't have to deal with that. I hope he has a couch to curl up on and broncos games to watch and someone to love him like my mom did. I also hope he's doing some good. I don't really know what animals do in heaven-cuz I know most people when they die are up there either teaching others or learning the truth-but I'd like to think that some little boy who is waiting for his family to come join him needed a friend and no one could ask for a better one than Ed.

I love you Ed and I will see you again. I promise. In the meantime be a good boy and do whatever it is you were needed up there for.

You killed my dog! You B@$&*#d!(much cursage.)

So as per the previous post My dog Ed was hit and killed Saturday. I have now obtained more info on what happened that night and I am pissed.(I was with Andy at the time.. and it's a good damn thing or I really would be in jail)

Seems like the kid that hit him was going fast enough to hit my 95 pound dog flip him up on the hood of his car, then flip him another 9 or 10 feet forward. That's way faster than the speed limit of 40 mph. Way Way WAY faster.. like reckless driving faster. You stupid fuck. Slow the fuck down! it's late, dark, and residential! You are lucky it was a dog and not a child or jogger or something. Cuz then you are looking at manslaughter not just a dent in your damn hood.

Which brings me to my next point of.. enragement. MY FUCKING DOG IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! You don't get to add insult to injury by getting out and apologizing once, not even look at the creature you murdered and proceed to INSPECT YOUR FUCKING CAR!!!!!! MY FUCKING FAMILY IS TRYING TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT WE JUST LOST A BELOVED PET AND YOU ARE ASKING ABOUT INSURANCE?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD?! He is so goddamn lucky I was not around. He woulda had a whole hell of a lot more to worry about then a fucking dent. And I swear to god he tries and put an insurance claim thru and I will make sure that car never runs again. Nor will he be driving anytime soon. How would you like it is I hit your fucking cat and then instead of apologizing and trying to help I fucking bugged you about insurance and the blood that was on my car? I don't care if I am an adult now and I have a record. You. put. a. claim. thru. or EVER. dare. to. show. your. face. anywhere. near. my. family. again. and. I. will. beat. the. shit. outta. you. you. insensitive. prick.

So anyone who made it thru this whole thing-or even bothered trying- slow down and watch out while driving at night. Even at 40-the speed limit- Ed prolly woulda died cuz he was so skinny, but I woulda had a lot easier time forgiving the kid. And for the love of all things holy. if you hit someones pet unless it's a horse that totalled your car or you are hurt don't ask about insurance. That's all

Unemployment

So I finally get unemployment!!!!! it only took 9 weeks of fighting it!!! But I get a lump sum of about a grand-cuz I forgot to file a few weeks-but yeah. And it's court ordered.. they can't come back and say just kidding. The judge said it and it was final. YAY!!!!!!!!

the definition of bipolar

So last night was a roller coaster of emotions....







I got to go hang out with my 3 favorite guys in the whole wide world.



..........................................................................



And My dog Ed got hit by a car and died.



..............................................................................



I was sitting at home bored as hell so I texted Andy and said hey lets go do something.. and he agreed so we agreed to go meet up at the mall and go see one of the two movies we've been trying to see for a while-role models and zac and miri make a porno. So I jumped in my car and headed down to the mall and on my way my phone rang and it was krogman and zane basically saying come play with us... so I told them I'd come play after the movie... (zane has met andy before but not since he was a huge pothead and krogman has never met him.. but since they are both like my brothers they are very protective of me and wanted to make sure he was a good guy and all.. isn't that sweet?) any way. I met andy at the mall and we ended up going to see zac and miri. So We were sitting there waiting for the movie to start and my phone started ringing(it was on vibrate. relax) and my mom was calling me. so I ignored the call and texted her that I was in a movie and asked what was up. The text I got back was something along the lines of 'Ed got hit by a car and died. I'm sorry I didn't know you were in a movie enjoy your movie.' I was pretty much floored.. I showed andy the text and then said "sorry I gotta go call them" so I did and I kinda started crying in the theater lobby when I called my mom and she was sobbing and I could hear my sister in the back crying and my dad was in the back being pissed off which is how he and I show we are really distraught. I was really worried it was just my mom and sister home which is the main reason I called cuz my dad had been out of town for the last few days and if that had been the case I woulda had to go home and bury my dog... cuz my mom and sister couldn't've done it. Hell I dunno if I coulda done it..but I didn't have to. anyway I went back into the theater and just basically turned off...Andy's arm is still prolly numb from the awkward way he had it the whole 2 hour movie cuz I was like right up under it trying to hide and not think. (seth rogan movies are good for not making you think too much.. and porns are too.. so this was a good movie for being able to shut off in)


Then we went over to Zane's house to hang out with him and Krogman and 3 girls only one of which I'd ever met. We ended up watching terrible porn and mocking it mercilessly(yes I realize I'm going to hell. not only for participating in it but for allowing my good little rm boyfriend to participate in it... thats the part I feel badly about...mostly. not for doing it but for bringing Andy along.) then it was time for a coupla of the girls to go home and Krogman had to drive them so andy and I bounced.





Then we went to dinner. Then we went back to the mall to pick up my car cuz it was like 2 am and I knew I needed to go home at sometime...


so we were in the parking lot listening to my music cuz andy's ipod died(much to his chagrin he doesn't really like my music.. well the rap and pop portions.. he likes the stuff he introduced me to.. so I made sure and skipped all that...;) cuz I'm an ass like that) and we looked over and one of his coworkers cars had been hit in the parking lot so we went down to see what was up and he ended up offering a ride to this lady and her friend (cuz he's nice like that...it's one of the many reasons I love him.) so we kinda got rushed into leaving so I couldn't think about the fact that I was going home to a dead pet. so I was fine til I got home.





I walked in and everyone was asleep. Even the three remaining dogs. And I walked in all quiet cuz my dad was asleep on the couch But charly woke up. I walked by and went into my room and I shut the door but not tight and got into bed and Charly poked her head into my room kinda like "is he with you?" and I kinda welled up and I said "come here charly" and patted my bed and she jumped up and curled up next to me and started like whimpering. And I lost it.



I guess I should explain. Charly and Ed are brother and sister. They have never been separated. My dad would occasionally take one or the other on overnighters and whatev but they've always been together for the most part. I don't care what anyone else says. Charly misses her brother. She knows she's on her own now... she's in mourning. They all are... we all are.. every time the dogs get let out they track Ed to where he was hit and his final resting place. every single time without fail. Charly has to be carried in cuz she won't leave.

so yeah.. that was pretty much my Saturday...

I got HAcked!!!!!!-anyone with facebook should read

So for everyone who has Facebook, my profile got hacked... so if anyone gets a weird wall post about your pic being anywhere DON'T CLICK ON IT!!!!!! It's a hacker site that will spam your friends with the same type of wall post.. sorry for the inconvenience....

Christmas tag

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy this entire post and paste into a new post. Change all the answers so that they apply to you.

Thanks for tagging me tara!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? wrapping paper in multiple levels so that when you get done unwrapping the gift it took you 20 minutes and although you started with a huge looking gift you end up with a stick of gum or something ;)
2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial! And pre-lit!!!! Then Pine Scented Glade Plug-In for effect!-agreed
3. When do you put up the tree? MY mom usually makes us put it up the Day after thanksgiving..
4. When do you take the tree down? sometime around mid January
5. Do you like eggnog? Not at ALL!!!! unless it contains alcohol... jk
6. Favorite gift received as a child? um... I dunno.. the fish they gave me?
7. Do you have a nativity scene?we used to.. then most of the pieces got lost.. we sometimes put up the Shepard and oxen and empty barn and I think Mary
8. Hardest person to buy for? my mom or grandmothers
9. Easiest person to buy for? Ellie and Andy(this year) and my cousins
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I have totally slacked the last couple years but every time I have done Christmas Cards it was by mail!-agreed
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? um.. when I was 9 my dad gave me connibears-traps... that he wanted.. yeah.. for real
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? That is such a hard question! There are soooooo many! Elf, , Muppet Christmas Carol, The Grinch (both versions),and the classic Christmas story there is no way I can make that decision!
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Well about august.. cuz I worked at Wendy's for three years.. when you make $6.70 an hour pulling $200 bucks out of it isn't easy but pulling $10 or so every other week is doable
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? yup
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? um... uhnuh.. I'm a fat kid.. I like all kindsa food
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree ? Colored
17. Favorite Christmas song? I love Christmas music! I am the kind of person that could listen to it all year round! So as for having a favorite I don't think I could pick just one! I do have favorite versions of each song though!
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay at home!
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?it's a star but I think it may be time to get something new
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? family given gifts on Christmas eve-we have a party with my dad's side of the family there are like 9 of us now I guess- then the Santa gifts Christmas morning
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? how walmarts and the mall and all those places put out Christmas stuff in freakin august!
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? most of mine are ones that my aunt sent us each year growing up.. so all mine reflect my stuff.. like dew and soccer and horses and dogs and stuff
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? I wish we'd have turkey but we always have icky ham
25. What do you want for Christmas this year?I'll end up with clothes and stuff for when I move out..pans pots etc...but I'd like a car stereo or computer or new DVD/VCR player
26. Who are you going to tag for this Christmas questionnaire?? uhnuh... only Lucy Tara and Annie read this oh and Darcy... as far as I know.. so lets go with that

cop convention at my school...Tara!

so today I went to school and I was sitting in the parking lot thinking of all the reasons I shoulda set my alarm 10 minutes later so I woulda been right on time for school instead of ten minutes early and I see one cop drive by and pull into the school parking lot.. huh. I think... that's kinda weird but whatevs... then another cop pulled in.. then like 4 or 5. the whole time I'm sitting in my car debating how suspicious it will seem if I just drive off(for anyone who doesn't know.. cops seem to like to stop me.. possible cuz well over half the cops in the south Ogden/Roy/riverdale/terrace area know me by name... also I just look like trouble? I dunno) and how much more school I can afford to miss... I finally make up my mind to go in and I go in and can the smart ass talk that usually accompanies me to my classes and just go in and start doing school stuff... well about an hour before my class is set to get out I find out there was a cop convention at my school! there were around 84 cops 2 doors down from me all morning.

needless to say I got out of school and went driving around at triple digits for a few hours cuz I knew where all the cops in the city were ;)

random story I know.. deal

these are getting shorter cuz so is my free time... :P(mild cursing)

Yeah so this is one cuz I'm totally bored and frusterated with trying to find Twilight tickets... I had no idea it would be sold out.. everywhere... for like THE NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!! WTF?! I was worried about you know car payments and schooling stuff and unemployment(which is a joke...but we'll get to that later) ... where are my priorities? But the good news is I found some at the mall.. so all is good.. ish

Unemployment on the other hand is a complete joke. Can anyone tell me why my going to school to be of some use to society so I don't have to draw unemployment could possibly inhibit them from giving me a little back from what I've put into for four damn years!!! I am being productive and honest and I get screw where if I had lied I'd be OK and if I had just sat at my house doing nothing instead of getting into school they would pay me to sit around home eating bon bons but god forbid I go out and be productive... News flash.. there are 24 hours in a day.. I was in school 6 and I need about 8 to sleep.. that's 14 hours... leaving 10 for work.. plenty of time to accept full time work.. grr.. I have a phone hearing on Monday with an unemployment judge to determine if they give me the $2700 for the 9 weeks I've been unemployed-like they said they will in a letter they sent me a damn MONTH ago!- or if I get held in phone court contempt. Cuz if they say I don't get... My amazing German temper will show up... I'm sure. And remember what happened last time someone pissed a German off? Yeah.. actually I'll prolly just tell the judge that unemployment is an f***ing joke and that he's a moron if he can't see how I am way more deserving than most the other people I know who are on it... and a lot more... so if I get held in phone court contempt I'm going to need ya'll to come visit me in phone jail...

yeah k I need some sleep before work... adios

Day one

haha I'm sure you are all DYING to know how my first day as a telemarketer/customer service rep went.. lol you're not? I'm telling you anyway

It sounds like everything will be really technical. there are like 30 different programs you have to use simulatiously. But we didn't really get into anything too technical.. mostly just how we can't talk about info we receive from work and stuff.. yeah.. plus I don't get on phones til like the end of December.. so around then if any of you are having problems with your at&t cell service you should not call and yell.. it could be me on the other end.. and I'd really like to get promoted cuz it sounds like the 100 of us that make up the first classes are going to be eligible for the leads and managers and stuff... that would be nice... lol yeah.. lots of PowerPoint's and stuff.

The facility is really nice. There is like a caf where they sell everything from cereal to hot dogs and hamburgers to lighters.. it's really nice. there are 2 video game consoles so you can bring like your x box game and play and they have an on site gym and a "relaxation room" with like a huge beanbag chair and stuff.. it's pretty nice... yeah.. that's about all I know... they did manage to misspell my name on my badge while I spelled it to them.. not even the hard first name.. they misspelled Greenwell... the easy one... my badge now reads Myndi Greenweel.. I need to go get that fixed.. If I can manage to not get fired it'll be a miracle!

Speaking of miracles!)(remember: mental contract....) I GOT ANDY TO AGREE TO LEAVE HIS CAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All I had to do is beg and plead and beg some more... ;) lol no it wasn't that bad... I just asked when I could extract him from his cave(again.. haha hint hint ;) boys and their lack of getting subtle hints) and he said how bout tomorrow... Buhwhat? I was standing in the caff with Mabe-his cousin or Cody-going.. wow.. and Mabe just laughed and then went outside while I ate my delicious burger.(oh yeah.. I work with Andy's cousin Mabe/Cody and his sister in law's sister-technically his sister in law to I guess.. and a few people I went to high school with it'll be nice) yeah.. the end.

meh

I will be joining the working world again in about an hour... meh... I'm not sure how I feel about it.. I want the cash.. but I've really enjoyed all this free time... it's kinda like the first day of school.. lol anyway yeah..

and grows..

Again, No speaking to Andy about the contents of this blog and all that other stuff...Yeah I'll talk to him about it if needs be.. and not before.. I don't want him finding out the extent of my hatred via third party. yeah OK remember mental contract.



I'm still not all about the stupid damn game. Kinda in hate with it-it's the opposite of in love. I mean yes I'm glad that he enjoys it and is having fun and whatever. And he did emerge from his cave to go to church with his family today and have dinner with his family and I even got like 4 texts,(one of which is saved in my box for future use. it states that I can get him out of his cave anytime I ask...you bet I'm going to use that one... more than once...lol) but yeah.. he's once again lost in his virtual world of magic and flying lions and robots and rock creatures and the like..grr.. the good news is I told him At eh very latest Tuesday I'm extracing him from the cave to go out in the sun as much as it may burn... and he didn't object... I don't think.. so Tuesday I'll see him.. hopefully... and for sure Friday when we go see twilight! which comes out on Friday! YAY!!!!!

But I'm still not sure how to take this whole getting thrown over for a game. I mean I told Darcy last night I think I could go over there and do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf and there would be no reaction. I've been quite tempted to test this theory..in a lees extreme manner that is.. or just show up at his house and hear all the embarrassing stories his mom has to offer...I'm sure she'd be more than willing to oblige.. they love me because I love their son and put up with all this gaming crap. I'm also not sure I should care. I mean I totally had a life before I met him. I should be able to entertain myself. And yet... it's way dumb.. I know....grrr... stupid hormones

on a totally unrelated topic the broncos won! the key to their winning seems to be me going to church and not watching the games.... I will support my team by not supporting them!!!

and on another completely unrelated note I start work tomorrow... yeah.. so if you have a problem with your at&t service and call to yell at someone.. don't yell at me.. I need to not get fired.. yeah

the end

my hatred of blizzard grows...

So as anyone dating a nerd(me) or a gamer/nerd themselves (Lucy :P ) knows the new expansion pack of wow just came out:wrath of the lynch king(wotlk). I am not so thrilled.. and I'm blogging about it.. and anyone who reads this is forbidden from speaking to Andy about the contents of this or any other post containing my hatred of blizzard, or directing him to it.. or innuendoing around it.. or anything of the like By reading this you have now entered into a mental contract.

So I pretty much hate blizzard right now. I have a feeling that it's going to be even harder than it was before to get him out of his cave. Also this weekend sucks... I haven't spoken to or even heard from him since Wednesday night when he was waiting for the stupid game to come out. I'm not all about it. I never have been. I go and watch him sometimes. but that's strictly to spend time with him. And I do enjoy listening to all the people on vent. they make me laugh. but as for the actual game? HATE IT!!!!!!!!! Some of my frustrations concerns and worries were vented in a previous blog(the boys wow and a mission...maybe one) but really I kinda just hate blizzard. And whoever got him started into it. usually. Again, he's a big boy and I wouldn't tell him not to play or do anything (unless it got too bad.. like those people on Dr Phil. or some of the more harmful things of the world. the whole word of wisdom thing? yeah.. we've discussed it. he knows what will happen if that becomes a problem again.. as do I. It goes both ways) but I really really don't like playing second banana to a video game. or having to plan my life around a video game. or anything of the like. I mean yes it's great that you enjoy it and that you're good at it and yes I did ignore the whole world when breaking dawn and the 7Th harry potter came out.. but only for like 12 to 20 hours. not for days and weeks on end. I'm sure there's some psychological reason behind it cuz he's really shy and whatev but.. yeah.. I'm just bored and really hating this game and really missing Andy right now... that's pretty much it.

Lessons learned the hard way(with hilarious results)

Never Never NEVER go food shopping whilst hungry. I just learned this lesson. I've forgotten to eat anything substantial since lunch/dinner yesterday so about 6 pm I realized I was STARVING!!!!! and I had finished off the last of my heavenly bread earlier I went on a food hunt of epic proportions only to find there was really not a whole lot-we usually do our food shopping on Saturdays so yeah nothing- and I ate most of my stash. so I went to Harmon's to get food. Bad idea. I ended up coming home with the following:

• 12 frozen pizzas
• 4 stuffed chicken breasts(they are stuffed with broccoli and cheese or ham and cheese)
• 2 bags of chips
• 2 bags of frozen fries
• 2 packages of hot dogs
• a box of brownie mix
• 3 boxes of tuna helper(and no tuna.. I thought we had some in the house.. guess not)
• 3 loaves of heavenly french bread
• a bag of rice
• a bag of lettuce
• 2 bottles of naked juice..(it this stuff that's like half juice and half smoothie.. it's really good)
• some microwavable egg rolls
• and 6 cans of chili-for chili cheese fries, dogs, and french bread sandwiches

so as you can see coupled with all the 12 packs of dew cherry coke pomegranate 7up and sierra mist and rice crispy treats and kudos bars in my room I'm totally set on food for the next Millena.. I mean who buys 12 cheese pizzas? even if they were 10 for $10...

On another topic but under the same category(of lessons learned the hard way): If you drink 11 cans of dew-or prolly any soda.. or beverage for that matter- in under an hour. Just know.. it'll take about three times that long to get it all out of your system... and I wouldn't be going to far from a bathroom for the whole time. Also I wouldn't drink that many dews at 1130 at night... you won't get to sleep til about 5 then your alarm will go off at 7 for school... not fun.. lol yeah that's it

Such randomness

So I was laying in bed Wednesday night watching the Simpson's and I got the strangest craving. I wanted french bread more than anything! It was so weird. But I sat there thinking I am not going to put my shoes back on and drive clear up to the store for freaking bread. About two hours later it was still there and my sister called my mom and needed a ride home, so I volunteered to go get Ellie and I went to the store after word and bought two loaves of freakishly long and skinny bread and brought it home and it was delectable! I also found out that if you put chili and cheese on it and make a sandwich it is amazing! yeah.. random happenings

Ellie's adventures in Teenage parenting-for school

So as previously mentioned My sister Ellie has to take A baby Simulator for her Adult roles class. I did it two years ago. It sucked... a lot. haha but here is the chronology of Ellie yesterday:

The first one is right after she got home. There is her and LaNessa-that's what she named it- and my dog Hunter on her bed. She's all excited cuz it sounds like a fun assignment when you first get it.

The second pic is one I got just as I was going to bed. it's about 130 in the morning and baby LaNessa has been crying for about 45 minutes. Ellie has no idea what is wrong cuz it won't 'eat' and she's changed it's diaper and tried to 'burp' it... I told her it was prolly on colicky mood and would do that all night. (which it did)

The third one is her this morning about 7 when we were both getting ready for school. She has slept like 3 hours total and was trying to get ready and I heard LaNessa start crying...and keep crying for about a minute so I walked in and found Ellie sitting there like that... it was funny. I'm sure funnier to anyone who has actual children. But having had to do the assignment twice two years ago I find it pretty hilarious too. And she still has one more day.. we'll see how tonight goes tee hee

Ellieism(I stole you suffix Annie)

So My sister Ellie has one of the robot babies for school this week. You know those babies that weigh like ten pounds and cry and have to be fed and change and all that fun stuff? yeah. I had one two years ago... It was kinda awful. Anyway yesterday was her first night with it(they only have to have it two school nights. I had mine over a weekend.. then it died-not my fault! they give you a car seat thingy made for a doll and a ten pound life size baby simulator.. it doesn't work and Cory fell out like 3 feet and died..a real baby wouldn't die-so I had to take it over another weekend) anywho she had carried it all around the mall all day and it was being especially fussy and crying and making that eh eh eh noise every child makes that kinda sounds like it's going to cry and you have to just hold the robot or it'll out and out scream and whatev and so I picked her and her friend up and took her home and I was watching LaNessa-that's what she named hers-while Ellie was getting ready for bed and after I 'fed' it and 'burped' it made this heavy breathing sound that tells the "parent' the baby is asleep... for now and I said "Hey Ellie. She's asleep" And Ellie got this crazy look in her eyes and whispered"Put her in her car seat!(which is where they sleep and which happened to be on her bed) I'm going to sleep! I've got this mother thing down" and she grabbed her blanket and laid down on the floor! The best part was later around 230 am as I was going to bed This is really how I found her The baby is up on the bed and Ellie is sleeping in the front on the floor

random concert fun! and AMAZING CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!

So last night I went to the rise against concert with Andy and and Mabe(or Cody.. Andy's cousin) and Mabe's drummer (also named Andy.. so he'll be Andy A-last initial- and mine will just be Andy) and Andy A's girlfriend Audry and her little brother Issac I think.. I will now recount the whole thing.. then post the crappy pics I managed to get.

Andy came and picked me up about 530 and we headed down to the great saltair(where the concert was).. that was kinda an adventure in itself.. neither of us had ever driven here.. or been there.. so we were going off mapquest(which was of no help) directions from my dad, Mabe, and an address and looking at a map.. yeah.. luckily it's not that hard to find and we made it there right at 6 when smithtix said the doors were opening. But Mabe Andy A Audry and Issac had all been there for about 15 or 20 minutes so we were right close to the door(general admission first come best standing area kinda thing) well come to find out the doors don't open til 7 and the concert starts at 730. OK that woulda been fine except no one brought jackets cuz.. hello concert? Hundreds of people crammed together? yeah not a good idea. so we're all out there in tee shirts and jackets in November at night. it was cold. but add to that the wind was blowing and it was kinda raining a little. Andy and I are the only ones in that group that have this thing called body fat.. the other 4 are basically skeletons covered in skin.. they were freezing. So Mabe Andy a(who did have a jacket but gave it to Audry.. like a good boyfriend) an Issac all get in this hug with the people standing behind us (also all guys) Andy then goes.. hey wait a minute... and grabs me and Audry in a hug and goes "you guys enjoy your sausagefest over there.. I got the good end of the deal" we were then shoved into the circle of half strangers with Audry and I in the middle and all the guys around the outside and it was a little warmer. I did enjoy being a female at this point.. cuz we were in the middle.. the wind was blocked. the poor guys tho... but it was admittedly better. Mabe kept calling out for more people and by the time the doors really did open at 7 we had prolly 4 more girls at least one or two more guys and we had had 8 or 9 other people come in and then leave. it was so awesome and random.

so we make it inside and we have about half an hour before the concert is set to start. so me Audry Andy A and Andy all hit the bathrooms first. Mabe and Issac hit the shirt stands. there were like 87 stalls in the girls room and 6 girls.. it was nice. audry and I get done and we go out to find Andy A waiting cuz there was a line for the guys bathroom and Andy was still in there.. yes! a line in the guys and none in the girls! I doubt this will ever happen again... it almost merits a blog of its own.. but not quite. anywho so Andy came out and the two of us went to buy shirts. I got a black rise against and a black thrice shirt (cuz I was too lazy to stand in the other line to get alkaline trio or gaslight anthem) and got a grey rise against and a greenish thrice one. By the time we'd both gotten shirts the first band was ready to start. so we went and found a semi decent spot at the back.

the first band was called gaslight anthem. they're kinda an underground not quite broken out band as far as I can tell. They had some good songs and stuff but they were kinda stiff on stage and their lighting show(yes techie coming thru.. deal with it.. thanks a lot Dustin) left something to be desired... but they had some pretty good music.. and were awful. but who pays attention to the first band? I mean come on

Then Thrice come on. I've recently grown to love thrice. Anyone should check them out. They play alternative.. kinda... stuff.. I guess... but they don't swear or anything. the first song everyone should check out(it's on my player on this page) is called The Artist in the Ambulance. It's so awesome! But they came on and did a few songs.. The only two I recognized were the melting point of wax and the sky is falling. I was a little disappointed they didn't play the artist in the ambulance or stare at the sun(prolly their most famous song) but I'll live. they had a great lighting show and they had some energy.. they were playing with each other on stage and addressed the crowd and stuff... it was pretty cool

the next band to play was alkaline trio. They were so much fun to watch!! Matt Skiba-the lead singer and guitar player- is so amazing and fun to watch. Dan Andriano-the bassist- is also really fun to watch! and the two of them interacted with each other and moved around so you could see both of them and addressed the crowd.. quite a bit.. it was really good. Derek Grant-the drummer- had kinda an awkward drum set up that, as Andy put it, 'made him look like a giant playing a monkey's drum set' but they put on quite a show! I didn't know any of the songs since I just started looking up their stuff like 2 weeks ago cuz they were going to be in the show but they played a bunch of good stuff. and their lights were more complex than Thrice's with like moving parts and stuff but it was quite as cool as Thrice's. This is also when the mosh pit started up pretty much. Mabe Andy A Audry and Issac were all up there.. Andy and I hung back cuz.. yeah Grampa Andy has a bad knee(and back and hip and ankle ;) on the off chance he finds and reads this) and I wanted to see rise against before I got knocked out ;) plus I wasn't going to leave Andy.. so we were watching people crowd surf and try and get on stage and get beaten down by security. a few shoes flew and stuff(cuz with all that crashing and stuff what do you expect?) and one shoe flew off and landed right next to Matt onstage while they were playing and after the song he picked it up and said "what is this? some kinda sick joke? it already smells like fish out here we don't want feet odor too" and everyone laughed. it was crazy! Andy and I watched Mabe get up on top the crowd like 3 times during their set. (It's his favorite band.. as far as I know plus he's like 5'11" and like 120 lbs.. he's easy to get up on top and keep up) and we watched him bounce around and have a good old time ;)

Then came Rise Against. I have two of their Cd's and listen to them all the time. This was who I was most excited for.. their set got set up and then the lights all turned off and the whole crowd was chanting "rise rise rise" and the stage filled with smoke and then all of a sudden the lights came on Tim McIlrath-lead singer/guitar jumped out of the smoke singing Drones! The whole crowd was singing and screaming and trying to get pics/video (myself included)! it was so awesome! the lights and colors and sounds and energy! you could just feel it in the air! Then they went right into life less frightening! there was no break or pause really! It flowed together so well. Then they did the intro from chamber the cartridge and Tim talked to the crowd and got us going and whatev and they did that and ready to fall (my favorite song) and injection and state of the union and a whole slew of others-I'm too lazy to list them all.. plus I can't remember ;) The whole time Tim and Joe Principe-bassist/guitar- and Zach Blair-guitar- were moving and playing it up on stage and just so full of energy! it was so cool. there was never really an in between songs.. most of them flowed one to another or they would just play the intro while everything go set up and Tim talked to us or Zach or both. then they all went off stage for a minute.. as soon as they left the crowd started with rise rise rise again.. but it was kinda short lived.. there was a buzz over the crowd cuz we knew something cool was coming up. Then Tim came back out with his acoustic guitar and did Hero of war and swing life away. then they brought back out the electric stuff and finished up. It was awesome! I thought because they just released a new CD it would be mostly stuff from that.. but they only did two or three songs from it. So cool.

Then afterword Andy Mabe and I went to Ihop and had breakfast/dinner and sat around talking til like 230 am! that was prolly one of my favorite parts ;)

All in all it was an awesome concert experience!

informative stuff about my blog

I decided that any of my angry blogs I would put in a red colored text so that everyone knows that's what they are.. I will apologize for the all caps repeated use of a certain f bomb in a few of them.. but yeah.. that's why some are in red.. the end

random realizations all because of eggs

so today was a weird day.

I start a swing shift job next week so I've been trying to get back into swing sleeping (IE staying up and being productive until about midnight) but I also was forced to push my classes up to from 8-10 in the morning. Yeah. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a morning person.. like at all.. oh I can pretend for a while and when its for like rehearsals or something I'll be a total grouch until I start working on something then I'll kinda wake up... also after about two dews(I'm talking 20 ozers) get into my system I'm.. fuctional... somewhat but I am not able to hold my tongue and pretend not to wish you were dropping off the face of the earth like I sometimes can later in the day (I'm not very good at that sometimes either) so anyway.. so this whole getting up at 7 am for school thing.. I dunno how well that'll work... but I get up yesterday morning and I go out to my car to go to school and my car has been egged..for the second time in a week. I mean I park it out on the street but I've never had so much as a dog whiz on it(well except my dogs) in over a year.. and my mom never had problems when she used to park out there... anywho needless to say I was not happy and the air around me was quite profane for quite some time. Then I had to go to school to the advisor who doesn't really know that much more than I do.. and treats all of us like crap... I was not thrilled... so I decided to sleep outside and try and catch whoever was doing this. No one messes with me or my car and gets away with it.



So I positioned the cars just so I could sleep in the back of my mom's truck (yes I realize it's November.. and yes it was cold.. but it was the principle of the thing) and watch my car from there to see if the "Easter bunnies" would be making their "deliveries" again. I didn't really expect to catch anyone cuz who is stupid enough to hit the same car 3 times in a row like that? apparently these kids were.. but I was ready for them if they did come..



Well about 230 I heard a truck go by kinda slow with its brights on.. I wasn't sleeping like I normally do so I heard it and woke up.. my first thought was "they are either lost.. on a back road.. at 230 on a Monday morning or these are my guys that are stupid enough to hit up the same car 3 times in a week". the truck drove past kinda slow then went up the road a mile or so then turned around and flipped off the lights.. "Bingo" so I got out of the truck and kinda crept up where I figured the truck door would be.. the passenger managed to get one egg off before I opened the driver side door and hit the driver. (I'm not usually an advocate of violence.. but again don't mess with me or my car.. and if you are stupid enough to hit the same car 3 out of 4 nights you deserve whatev you get)-they were going like 1 mile an hour if that.. I then began turning the air around the truck blue with profanities and the driver-whose nose I think I broke with my initial angry punch parked the car-yes in the middle of the road.. again back road.. 230..I just punched him in the face... I'm impressed he remembered to park it..-and passenger both got out to find out who has the nerve to interrupt their illegal activities.. I manged to get the driver again as he got out and then the passenger got ahold of me.. he got in a few good punches-I have a bruise on my ribs and a nick under my lip to prove it- then I dunno what happened.. somehow I managed to knock the wind out of one of them (the crow bar I'd stashed under my car prolly helped ;) I never said I fight fair... I'm all about giving myself the advantage) and pin the other under my foot.. I then very politely told them that if I so much as saw that truck or either of them withing 100 yards of my car again this would look like a tickle fight. I then let them limp off.. then after they were gone I crawled inside in hopes of getting some sleep and to circumvent any visible markings I might have.. (I managed to get rid of the black eye I shoulda prolly gotten.. the rest are visible but not that noticeable)

Anywho the point of this story is that I think I matured a little last night. I used to pick fights with strangers just to fight. I would get all antsy and nervous and excited when I knew that there MIGHT be a fight... and I still do.. it's a natural by product. But I don't live for them like I used to..

Also after all that anger and frustration and planning what I would do to them if I caught them But funny thing...when it was all said and done.. I really didn't feel all that great. I kinda felt really crappy. Like i had stooped down to their level..I dunno.. it was a weird realization. And I don't think I'll be fighting much anymore... After all weekend all the crap that's gone on with my family and within myself with the whole mission thing and having to defend my beliefs to my mom to the point of an out an out screaming war about my having a temple marriage that isn't even in the books yet and all of that.. I think I had the Spirit with me more in the last few days then I have in my whole life.. I just don't think i noticed it.. But I sure noticed the lack of it lately... it was weird.. I dunno

Boys, Wow, and a Mission...maybe,

OK so this has been bugging me for a while so I'm going to attempt to organize my thoughts via blog.. and if anyone reads this and has advice.. let me know.. I'll take any and all. But this will prolly jump a whole lot and not make much sense.. but here goes:

so Wednesday was my 20th bday.. so I officially have less than a year until I can go on a mission if I want... now I have to figure out if that's what God wants me to do...

I've wanted to go on a mission as far back as I could remember.. even during my uber inactive years and thru all the bad stuff I've done.. but my family wouldn't be all about it.. my dad says he'll support me.. but I don't think he gets it.. especially since he is pretty anti most the time... he'd support me til I got my mission call and I went to like south America or Australia or Germany or something like that.. then he'd be all "there is no way in hell I'm letting you go there!" or if I got called stateside he'd come try and visit me (which btw I'm almost certain isn't allowed.. its 18 months-for girls- to two years for guys of no seeing your family and friends except for letters and such). He also frequently accuses me of thinking I'm better than the family cuz I choose to say go to church instead of stay home and do the chores he thinks I should do... I hate to think what he would accuse me of if I started to prepare to go on a mission... *shudders*

My mom is a different story: she would be all about it until I started doing things like going thru the temple and stuff like that that she can't do.. she just can't.. not right now and there's no way my dad would let her do the things that would make her eligible... no way... then things would get a little weird... also when it came time for me to leave she'd have a meltdown (again 18 months... letters and like 2 phone calls a year I think... that's it)... plus she doesn't really have a good foundation in the church.. neither of them do.. my mom goes for me and Ellie.. but since I moved to the singles branch and Ellie decided she wanted to be an "actress" they don't really go at all anymore.. I mean I don't go all that often either(maybe like twice a month) but it's way more often than say the once in the last 13 weeks they have gone.. my dad on the other hand just claims he's Mormon if asked but has problems with fundamental points.. like listening to the prophet and certain points of repentance and stuff like that.. he also kinda thinks that God should cater to him.. not the other way around.. yeah doesn't work like that sorry

I dunno how Ellie would react. She used to be really religious... then after constantly being ripped apart by my dad and even me sometimes(I feel really bad about that..) she kinda stopped.. also I don't think the whole acting thing helped.. at all. So I dunno.. She'd prolly support me either cuz she knew it was the right thing to do or because she'd get to take over my room/dvd player/ipod/car/not have to fight for the computer or bathroom/etc.. prolly more the latter.. but a lot of the things I do I do for her benefit. to be an example. The fact that I go to sacrament and institute and pitch a fit when anyone tries to stop me from going to these things is for me but also for her. I want to try and balance out the negative example I've been for the last few years.... I'm not always the best at it.. but I try..

My extended family would be mixed. My Grandma Greenwell would be all about it. My Grandma Sparkes would be all about it as well.. I think.. but she's 90.. she'd forget in a few minutes.. my uncle Jim.. the lecher.. he would prolly support my decision but not really like it.. wouldn't talk about it or want to really know anything about it.. I think.. his two sons (my two cousins that I'm closest to) would hate it.. Tyler may never speak to me again.. he hates religion and everything to do with it as far as I can tell... I dunno about Steven... but see the thing is I haven't seen either of them for well over a year so...all in all I would face a lot of ridicule for leaving a job and school and such... I can see it being a big mess

My friends would support it. Darcy and I have talked about it a lot. She's all about my going if that's what I think is best. I'm sure if nothing else I could count on regular letters from her ;) but there'd be more I'm sure
Steph would write me too I'm sure. in fact I bet most of my friends would write me cuz they are all awesome like that: Cami Heidi Charla Tara Lana.. I bet I could get a few letters out of each of them ;) Even Kimi and Prolly Angi and Julie and even Dustin would write if I asked I bet. Dustin told me once when I was venting to him during one of the LONGEST plays EVER that he would support me if I decided to go even if my family didn't and that he thought I would make a good missionary. (he doesn't know it or prolly remember it.. but I still have the text that says that. It meant a lot to me.. still does.. ) Julie and I have discussed it a few times. she's also all about my going. She thinks I would do well too. Actually Lana is all bout my going last time I checked too..

Now for the biggest one.. aside from my family Andy.

I know he would support me. I know he would... despite all the stupid stuff we've done and the religious rut he was in when I met him always spoke about his mission with the highest respect. He know the importance of it. If that's where I thought I needed to be he would support it. No questions asked.
The problem being that I'm scared to go away. I really do love him. Some of the stuff he does bugs the living HELL out of me..(wow being one and the lighthearted way he takes his priesthood sometimes..) but over all I love him.. and I wouldn't want to lose him.. I can't go a day without texting him..I dunno how I could go a year and a half without seeing him... plus the whole losing him thing.. a year and a half is a long time.. out of sight out of mind.. he could up and get married while I was gone.. to which I would say I wish you the best of luck.. and I would truly mean it.. if that's what was best for him then that's what I would want.. even if it's not what I want... but I dunno.. last night while I was sitting there watching him play wow for like 7 hours and talking to Darcy I was kinda venting my frustrations to her(cuz she'll listen.. and I value her input) I kinda was just wondering.. what happens if things get more involved with us? I mean you claim you're not addicted to wow.. and I can get you to leave every once in while... and for big stuff.. but you're almost constantly on it... I can handle one or two nights a week.. but like 40 hours or more a week? I'm not all about that... what happens if we were to get married? Could i get him to cut back? Or later on If there were kids? could he handle not regularly playing or would we have to make a spot in our lives for wow? these are the things that I think about.. I also sometimes curse the guy that showed him wow... I mean i get that he enjoys video games and all and that's fine.. but all things in moderation.. getting up at 2 on a Saturday logging into wow, staying on til I come over at 5.. staying on til about 830 when you get hungry, going to Carl's Jr, then coming back and staying on til 1130 when I say OK I'm going to bounce then spending 2 hours in the freezing cold talking(which is what I live for.. I love our talks) then going in and playing for prolly another hour or more then going back to sleep.. that's.. a little excessive... I dunno.. I couldn't do it... the whole damn day would feel wasted... and then playing all night Sunday from like noon til like midnight.. then all night Monday Tuesday and Wednesday some Thursday and Friday from like 330 til midnight... kinda feels.. really excessive..almost to an addictive state.. I don't think that I ever was jonesin that hard even in the worst part of my life.. I'm all about this new swing shift he starts tomorrow.. except I feel that he'll be playing all morning.. I dunno.. again.. this would be an issue that would come up if things were getting really serious (IE he proposed) or if I ever get feeling especially pissy... but the point of that rant was that maybe we both need some time to.. I dunno.. prioritize? figure things out? find myself? I'm not that ready for marriage(although who among us is..) I don't think.. now if it was right and God approved.. I don't argue with God anymore. I would trust that I was ready and go for it... but yeah.. as much as I would love to never leave him at his doorstep ever again.. I dunno anyone who can decipher what feeling that is besides conflicted please let me know.. I love everything about him and when he's away from wow...He's such an amazingly deep person and he's so smart and awesome to talk to... away from the computer... ( iusually don't have a problem with it.. I really don't.. I dunno why yesterday bugged me so much... maybe i'm just feeling kinda.. hormonal.. right now.. and if he does read this I hope he won't get pissed..)

I also kinda wonder if that's the reason I'm having such a hard time getting a government job.. I mean I shouldn't have this hard of a time... I have a year of experience.. I know what a 941 looks like and what it's used for and where it goes..all that fun stuff that none of you out there know what I'm talking about.. I have a year of experience.. why would people be getting hired ahead of me?.. It makes no sense... but I think if I get one I will be too reluctant to leave it if it turns out I'm aposta go on a mission.. or maybe the government just hates me.. I dunno

but anyway yeah.. that's kinda my thought pattern right now.. I've kinda decided that I'm going to plan on going on a mission in a year and then if that's not what is aposta happen then something will happen and I will know that that's not where I'm needed... I can't really see a bad to preparing to go on a mission.. I'll be bettering myself and straightening my testimony and learning and stuff.. I'm not telling my family anything about this..yet.. they'll just put a lot of unnecessary pressure on me and stuff. Once I get a fer sure kinda thing I'll clue them in (prolly when I put my mission papers in) Darcy knows my plan thus far and I'm sure Andy will find out sooner or later.. cuz I'd like his input...and he can tell when somethings up..and cuz I love him and despite that long rant about his playing I know that he really does care about me.. and that he really is an amazing guy and that I am lucky to have him.. and because I can't keep anything from that kid..and anyone who reads this.. but that's about it..

more venting (much profaning)

ok so I'm going to just generally vent until family guy comes on.. if I even get to watch that.. so I've got about an hour



FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!! MY DAD IS SUCH A FUCKING BABY!!!!!!!!! My mom likes to watch shows like American Idol, and the amazing race and survivor stuff like that.. she loves it.. he sits around and pitches a bitch fit that a 2 year old would be envious of until it's useless to even try... then turns it to the same damn episode of law and order or ER or some boring ass fishing show or something that no one else even likes then fall asleep then we'll try and change it and he'll wake up and flip out!!!!!!!! FUCKING DEAL WITH IT YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!! IT'S CALLED SHARING!!!! KINDERGARTENERS CAN DO IT!!!!! Good hell! everything is not about you! and the fact that you act like it is only proves that me and ellie and anyone else over the age of 5 is more mature than you are.. so you have no fucking business telling me how to behave or punishing me for anything! he can't even keep his damn family in prder.. I resent him most the time, my sister out and out hates him, and my mom spends more time trying to fix everything he does wrong to try and keep it from blowing up than anything else... good hell I will never NEVER do that.... my (future) husband will never get away with anything like that.. even once... fuck that...

and anothing thing.. I get texts all the damn time.. STOP FUCKING FREAKING OUT EVERYTIME MY PHONE VIBRATES!!!!!!!! IT'S A TEXT!!!!!!!! LIKE THE LAST 15 FUCKING TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good hell! everytime I'm on the computer or watching tv in the living room and he's near and I get a text the conversation goes like this:


My phone: vrrt vrrt vrrt(it vibrates three times for a text)

My Dad: *sits up grabs his phone* what the fuck was that?

Me: it's my phone

D:who the hell would be calling you? and aren't you going to answer it?

M: it's a text.. and I'll get around to answering it in a minute

D: who are you texting?

M:(usual answers are) Darcy and Andy

D: well whats the point in texting just call and talk to them?

M: no I'll just do this thanks

D: don't get uppity with me *mutters something and lays back down on the couch*

M:*mutters* fuck off you idiot... *responds to text*



then two minutes later the whole damn thing starts all over again when I get another text!!!!!!!!!! MORON!!!!!!!!! I realize that when you were growing up there weren't such things as computers and cell phones and texting and stuff and you got along just fine.. but the world was a different place.. you can't not have a computer and the internet anymore.. you just can't and the sooner you realize that the better off we'll all be.. but go ahead sit in your stupid little fucking cave of outdated logic and be hateful and stupid and ignorant... I don't fucking care anymore! but don't you dare try and get me to help you with anything technoloically.. every.. I've shown you 15 fucking times... learn it or don't.. I don't fucking care... I can make these things work so...

BAH!!!!!!!!

I stole this from Megan..

haha I'm bored and this was on my friends Megans blog so I stole it cuz she said to in her blog ;)

Four Jobs I've Had
1. Big Rock Ice cream store thingy
2. Wendy's/taco time(I had them at the same time).. ugh
3.IAP IRS files.. the best job I've had so far strictly cuz I was making almost $15 an hour
4. soon to be a customer service rep for at&t thru teleperformence.. ugh

Four Movies I've Watched More Than Once
1. sweeney todd
2. rent
3. hairspray
4. get smart(anyone that knows me knows I have over 400 dvds.. there are a lot I watch over and over.. these are just the last 4)


Four Places I've Been
1. lived in ogden UT my whole life
2. san diego CA(LOVE IT)
3. Ancorage/homer/soldotena Alaska(LOVED IT)
4. Seattle Wa

Four of My Favorite Foods
1. I think my very favorite is a really good burger.
2. fries!!!!!
3. DEW!!! that counts as a food.. I drink anywhere from 12 oz to 300 oz a day(yes I have a problem)
4. brownies

Four Places I Want to Visit
1. Australia.. I'm kinda uber jealous my friend Angi got her mission call there... someday I will go
2. Europe
3. all 50 states
4. Andy has intrigued me.. I wanna go to his mission in Argentina..

Four Things I Am Looking Forward to This Coming Year
1. my 21st birthday(yes I realize my 20th bday was wednesday..)
2. Moving out (I will be out by this time next year.. whether it be by marriage, mission, or just moving out I will be gone)
3. Time with Andy
4. uhnuh... stuff?

The end. Enjoy. Steal it if you want to. Haha

Applied tech colleges..grr

So what is with Applied Tech Schools and screwing over students? I was going to the DATC (Davis applied tech college) for sign language this time last year and they screwed me and forced me to drop out and lose those 21 credits or whatev I had earned. so I did.. now I go to the OWATC(Ogden-Weber applied tech college) and I was doing amazingly. Because it's a work at your own pace type thing in one month I managed to crank out about 150 credit hours.. in a month.. that's AMAZING!!!!!! And then they pull this crap. they take away the two teachers that actually know what they are talking about and their subjects and stick us with one guy who only knows keyboarding the the very basic computer lit stuff.. very basic.. he also treats us like crap.. no respect.. walks around with a giant stick up his @$$ and when you ask him for help he'll answer in a very ambiguously vague way... GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! He's a pompous ass and I hate him.. but I refuse to lose those credits... REFUSE. so I'll deal with it.. for now but when I get put in jail for assault and battery.. someone come visit me k?

Fun at walmarts( very mild cursing)

So yesterday I went into walmarts to see my friend Zane who works there and to avoid going home for a little while longer and had an awesome adventure which I will now proceed to tell:

First thing I noticed upon walking into the store was that they were pumping Christmas carols in at volume 11! and not one uniform carol all over the store but like 4 different ones depending on where you went. yeah.. it's November....2nd... there is like two whole holidays between now and Christmas... but whatev well after about 30 seconds this got annoying.. so I began complaining... loudly.. to every associate I met about how annoying this music was and how offended I was that they were taking a holiday meant to celebrate the birth of our savior and were turning it into a commercialized idol...
Next, I noticed that every trace of Halloween was gone.. and I don't mean pulled down cuz the holiday is over and put in clearance carts to try and sell all this stuff we don't need until next year.. I mean GONE! I couldn't've found a jack o lantern if I had wanted to! it was as tho it had never existed..instead Rudolph the red nosed reindeer and the creepiest frosty the snowman I have ever seen were lurking about at every corner...*shudders*
So,I finally made it down to the fabric section-it takes a long time to get to the back of the store when everytime you see and employee and especially managers you have to complain at them all the while looking over your shoulder to make sure some creepy snowman is going to kidnap and murder you- and I was looking at the fleece cuz I've decided to keep myself sane here at home until I start work in a few weeks I am going to make a fleece blanket...so I was looking at the two different kinds of broncos fleece and seeing if they would work together, decided that no.. they wouldn't, deciding which one I liked better, then trying to find something to go behind the one I decided I liked whether I wanted blue, or orange, or black, etc.. so I was walking around the department for like 20 minutes prolly inspecting fleece and prices and etc(yes I can sew so I do know what I was looking for.. I know shocking...)and the old lady that was the manager of the department was following me around watching as tho I'm going to steal a bolt of fabric or something(I realize I don't look like I can sew or would even want to.. but come on.. ) so I make it back to the broncos fleece and I'm trying to convince myself that the two different broncos styles could work together(walmarts doesn't have the best selection but I was too lazy to go anywhere else) when these two other ladies come walking by and stop and look at the frog fleece that is just down the rack and one of the ladies says "this'd be cute.. but I wonder what we have" or something like that leading me to believe that she worked there.. so I said"excuse me..do you know how much fleece I would need to make a decent sized blanket for myself?" (I was guessing three yards... give or take) and the one lady (I'll call her lady "a") said " for you? prolly about 1.5 to 2 yards. You'll lose about half an inch when you tie it but that'll give you a blanket about 5 feet by like 3 or 4." *then she leans in kinda close* "but you don't wanna buy anything from here... I work at Hancock fabric and we have a much better selection and we are having a 50% off sale the 9-11th.. come out there and get it then" and I said "like next week? OK .Thanks!" at this point remember the old lady associate that has been following me the whole time? she has been listening to us the whole time? she's been shooting daggers with her eyes at lady a the whole time we've been talking. At the mention of this better sale Ola(old lady associate) made a Marge Simpson sound. You know that low disapproving 'mmmm' sound. yeah that one. I turn to Ola and adopt a very haughty British tone and say "Instead of standing there glaring angrily and eavesdropping, why don't you go see if you can't do something about the offensive music and let the grown-ups talk?"(I realize I'm an ass.. but... well there's really no justification.. I'm just an ass) Ola has this look of pure shock on her face as I say this. Kinda a 'Oh. My. God! Did you really just have the audacity say that to me?' look-you all know the look. Ola then sputters a little a then just turns and walks away muttering. I now look back at the two ladies and said"I'm sorry she's been following me around this whole time as tho I'm going to steal a bolt of fabric.. I realize I look a little unorthodox but come on" Lady A is smiling and says "wow.. you showed her.. she must've been bugging you as much as she was me" and Lady b(the lady with lady a.. the one that has said or done nothing this whole time) is doubled over in laughter.. I swear to you I think she peed! Tears are running down Lady B's face and she kinda walks over to me hunched over in laughter and gives me a high five and then walks away! It was the coolest thing I have seen all week!
That's pretty much the end of the story.. I thanked Lady A again for the help and told her I would for sure check out Hancock fabrics. then I asked her if they had broncos and packers fleece she confirmed that they did.. then thanked me for a good laugh and we went our separate ways.. but if you open up the Standered Examiner in the next few days and the headline reads 'Crazy walmart employee murders assish broncos fan' you'll know the story ;)

What was that?! oh right... consicence

So last night was Halloween and instead of staying home and handing out candy to the three trick or treaters we get and being lame I went to a party with Andy. it was an interesting night;



Anywho we went over there about 7 pm and there was just me and Andy and Wes(the guy what owns the trailer we were at) and it was all cool.. we were just watching resident evil and and eating and talking and stuff and it was pretty chill. Then Wes went and got his wife ,now I guess, Mel who had been playing warcraft in the other room(yes... world of warcraft... I know...) and she came out.. and I could immediately tell she'd been drinking... quite a bit.. but that's cool.. she was being the funny drunk and it was fun.. the she brought out the hookah... which I kinda knew would happen which was one reason I was so reluctant to go to this party.. but whatev... so yeah earlier this week Andy and I had kinda had a talk about my.. inhibitions.. to go to this party.. he had promised me he wouldn't drink or get stoned.. but that if the hookah was brought out he'd prolly do that.. and I kinda agreed to this... not out of my being OK with it but out of my not wanting to cause a fight or argument... it's his life.. so yeah I was kinda hoping it wouldn't get brought out.. but it did and so they started up on that and drinking and then the pot came out for a second but with trick or treaters hitting up the door every few minutes that didn't last too long... but yeah nothing else that cool happened.. we played apples to apples and got Mel's ferret drunk.. which was funny as hell!! and watched ghostship but yeah that was pretty much it



anywho fast forward to when we left... we got in his car and left and were driving back to his house so I could pick up my car and get home before my parents shitted themselves with worry.. (they were all asleep when I came in at 330 anyway.. stupid family) and yeah the whole way back to his house and even while we were at his house the conversation was strained and aloof.. much like it was when we first met.. even when talking about things like religion and stuff that shoulda been easy for us to talk about at this point.. we do it quite frequently.. it was just uncomfortable.. and the safe feeling I get when I'm with him usually was there.. but very dim and hard to feel... I didn't like it... anywho so I went to leave and I gave him a quick hug and then he leaned in to kiss me and I stopped him and said " you've been smoking" and he looked at me and said "you didn't tell me this is what would happen." and I said "you're right. I didn't" and he said something like "that's OK I can deal with it" and I said "no you can't" "you're right I can't" and he kinda looked sad (which hurt so much.. I hate when he isn't happy it hurts me.. stupid cliched I know.. but I almost gave in then but I didn't) and I said went to get into my car and he kinda called back over his shoulder "love you" and I couldn't really say anything back cuz I was.. really conflicted and prolly woulda started crying..so I just left... and then I texted him as I was leaving(cuz I didn't want him thinking I was mad or anything I dunno.. I can't explain about half the stuff I do...just go with it) and I said something like 'you should not smoke anymore cuz truth be told I can't deal with it either.. but since actually gaining a strong testimony of the church and the priesthood things have changed.. I still love you tho and this is in no way a reflection on that' and he texted me back something like 'I know. Its not a good thing to do. I'm not totally sure why I do stupid things like that but after having not smoked for a while then being around it the weed bothered me quite a bit. the hookah was kinda off too. I don't feel as attracted to it as I once was' which also hurt me.. cuz yeah I dunno.. it just does..it kinda feels like he's beating himself up.. and I don't like that... so I attempted to explain myself via text (at 330 am.. yeah I dunno how well it worked) something like 'yeah this one is totally me. there are some things in the religion I left slide.. but anything having to do with the wow(in this blog used as word of wisdom.. Mormon doctrine for anyone who doesn't know...no drinking no smoking no drug use basically not world of warcraft like in most my blogs) I can't.. for myself... I don't mind being around it and I'd never take away anyone else's agency but.. yeah my thought train just derailed' and he sent back one that said something like 'Lol I know what you're gettin at. Even when I was smoking today I could tell you weren't happy and that's not good. I know you won't try to stop me but that doesn't mean I can do it if it's not right. I should know better. I'm sorry if I upset you tonight' and then I kinda went 'it's OK.. I'm sure I do things that bug you too. the important thing is that we can talk about it and get over it" and then I think both of us crashed... cuz I haven't heard from him since.. but I'm sure tonight or whenev I see him again we'll have to have this discussion.

now for my commentary: Tuesday when he had told me about this party he said your parents won't care will they? and I said about the party? nah.. I just can't stumble in smelling of weed and alcohol and he said OK I'll try not to get any on you... and I don't care that he jokes about it.. I do it too.. I'm not some stick up her ass Mormon that can't handle that.. it's part of my history and yeah.. but something about the way he said it made me think he wasn't all the way kidding... so then I went to institute and we had a lesson on the new testament story about the rich young man that was told that he needed to sell all his worldly possessions and follow Christ and how it pertained to us in the here and now. the comment was made by one of the girls in my class that an apostle once said (I can't remember which one or when.. or the quote exactly) "that at some point in each of our lives we will be asked to offer up what is most important to us... the Lord does this to test your patience faith and trust" something like that.. and I was sitting there going 'if I push the wow thing too much he could get pissed and I dunno how much more shit I can take right now.. he's the only thing keeping me sane.. but obviously I can compromise my own standing and values...' and then the same girl said something else like" we shouldn't approach the Lord in fear of what we're going to lose.. because whatever it may be there will be something 10 times better waiting" and then I was sitting there thinking "OK.. well if Andy's not right for me.. then there is someone else out there that is obviously more right for me than him (as hard as that is to believe)." so I texted him and I'm sure he knew something was up cuz he's really perceptive like that and asked him to read a scripture and stuff fulling intending to tell him my inhibitions and stuff and then we went to see nightmare before Christmas in 3D yeah awesome and I kinda decided at some point that I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and not accuse him of things that hadn't happened yet.. so I kinda just skirted around it and yeah.. so I'm wondering what the point in this is basically.. is this God testing me Patience and faith and whatev? or is it more of a this is what you believe and you need to know it for yourself with assuredty? or perhaps I'm just being too emotional about it cuz it's near '(on the)rag time' and because of Scotty od'ing and my whole struggles with alcohol and drugs and because I've never felt this close to anyone in my whole life..... I dunno.. unanswerable questions